


Up All Night

by HazzaLou1212



Category: Larry Stylinson- Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Based on Some Real Events, Clueless Harry, Drama, Drunk Harry, F/M, First story, Fluff, Gay, Grimmy is an Asshole, Lots more that I can't think of right now, Love, Lust, M/M, Multi, Not Exactly Accurate, Partially Alternate Universe, Romance, Sex- Eventually, Smut, This Story Has A Plot, Throwback to Young One Direction, United Kingdom, United States, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 10:59:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 29,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2649518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazzaLou1212/pseuds/HazzaLou1212
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Direction is quickly becoming the biggest band in the world. With the release of their first album Up All Night, their world is about to become crazy. Louis is falling hard for a certain curly haired 16 year old who might just be way too clueless, or not. What will happen when fame and life gets in the way of the budding relationship that the Larry Stylinson fan base wants so desperately to be a reality?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Up All Night

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fanfiction. I've been thinking so hard about this one and I've been working on it forever. Want it to be something I am proud of. Hope you enjoy. Lot's of Larry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)

Love is such a crazy thing. Louis had heard it his entire life but it wasn’t until he first laid eyes on Harry Styles that he understood the meaning of those six words. He met Harry at his x-factor audition in 2010 and hasn’t been the same since. Oh yeah, and he's pretty sure he goes mental… mentally and emotionally-- every time he sees or thinks of the younger boy. Well, it isn’t entirely helpful that the two of them make up 2/5 of the world’s most popular boy band and they have to spend almost every waking moment of every waking day with each other. And it’s also not entirely helpful that Harry seems all too happy to do so. But who is Louis to complain?

So when Harry “creeps” into Louis’ bedroom sometime in the night when it’s still completely dark, and whispers his name, the older boy rolls over and looks in the direction of where the voice has come from, not even able to get mad, and all he says is, “what’s up Hazza?”

He could hear the excitement pouring out through the darkness as the deep voice explained, “what’s wrong is that I’m 16, I’m way more popular than I care to admit, I’m living out my dream and I’m living in this humungous flat with my best friend in the entire world but all _he_ wants to do is sleep.”

Louis smiled and imagined himself reaching up and pushing the messy curls out of Harry’s face as he was sure they were hiding the view of his piercing green eyes. Instead he rolled over and turned on the lamp next to his bed, illuminating such images back to reality. The reality was—there couldn’t be a Harry and Louis, at least not the way he wanted. So, he took what he could get.

“Forgive me for needing to rest after running around Leeds with you all weekend,” Louis stated sarcastically. He was sarcastic by nature and Harry understood that. Harry understood all of him. He shifted to lie on his back, put his hands behind his head and shut his eyes. “I had fun, though,” he opened his eyes briefly to make eye contact with the younger boy, wanting him to know he was completely serious. But then again, when was there ever a time that the pair didn’t have a great time together?

“Too much fun,” Harry agreed with a smile and Louis knew exactly what that smile meant.

He was sure he knew exactly what Harry was thinking because he was thinking it too, so he said it, “the look on Paul’s face last night when we got home was priceless.” Both of them chuckled.

“It really was. I’ve never gotten in so much trouble. Not even from my mum,” Harry pointed out.

Louis was back to staring at the ceiling with his eyes closed, “damn that Larry Stylinson.”

It was the fans that had been so in love with the relationship between Harry and Louis that they had given them the nickname. Between them and the rest of the guys in the band—Niall, Zayn, and Liam, they thought it was the best thing ever, but management was on a different page. To Louis it actually felt like a completely different chapter. “They ruin everything, those two. I bet Paul is camped outside our front door right now making sure we don’t run away again,” Harry joked, using air quotes for ’run away’, since that’s what they were accused of. But it wasn’t running away, it was just—going somewhere for three days and not telling management.

“How do you reckon we piss them off tomorrow?” Louis asked. Louis was the one always scheming on how to keep those people on their toes and their nails short. But as the oldest member of One Direction and probably the most immature, that was his God given right to do so. What were they going to do, fire him?

Harry shrugged, “we could always just start snogging in the middle of the street.” He had been joking and they both laughed but Louis knew it would never happen. He would never let it happen because for Harry it would be all about pissing off the right amount of people and causing a frenzy with the ones who were left over. But for Louis it would have been nothing less than sincere with no malice whatsoever. So no, no snogging allowed…ever.

“We just need to make sure everyone knows how much fun we had this weekend,” Louis pointed out. “It doesn’t take much to make their blood boil.” By ‘they’ he meant management. And then he yawned.

“Good point,” Harry yawns in succession. “I think I’ll head to bed. Sorry for waking you, but thanks for being here.”

Louis nodded and gave Harry a small smile, “I’ll always be here. Night Haz.”

“Night Lou,” Harry responded in a small voice just above a whisper.

Louis waited for his door to close before turning off his lamp and heading into yet another dream in which Harry didn’t leave but instead climbed under the white plush down comforter and wrapped his arm around him and held on to all of him physically instead of just his heart.


	2. One Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the Kudos. It means a lot!! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Some drama, some cuteness... :)
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)

 

***

 

The next time Louis opened his eyes some form of early daylight was peeking through the large bay window on the opposite side of his bedroom. The warmth from the comforter radiated through him, and he burrowed his face deeper in to the pillow, pulling the fabric further up to cover his nose. A small sigh escaped his lips and he could feel himself being pulled back in to slumber.

 

But the days he had to sleep in were numbered and this was proven true when the familiar text tone of his iPhone jolted his mind awake. Guess he would have to resort to naps. The group text from Paul to him and the other four was short and simple. _Car leaves in 20. Meet in lobby. Radio show starts at half 7. We can’t be late!_

 

He groaned and slammed his phone down on the pillow. Too early. And in a perfect world he would have gone back to sleep and woken up when his biological clock said so. But then again, this sort of was a perfect world, wasn’t it? He loved his life and he loved his job… except this morning. There were certain people and events that put a hitch in that. Today happened to be an interview on BBC radio 1 Breakfast Show with host Nick Grimshaw, who Harry claimed as a friend; and today Nick would be the winner in Louis’ least favorite person of the day contest.

 

He went with a pair of black skinny jeans, a grey t-shirt, and his favorite black pair of vans. Everything was simple but the sun was not high enough in the sky for anything complex. To finish he covered his uncombed hair with a grey beanie and was now in search of his favorite red hoodie. “Morning,” he said when he found Harry in the living room, feet propped up on the coffee table and thumbs typing furiously on his phone.

 

Harry instantly looked up and beamed as he always did, “hi Lou!” But Louis couldn’t help the tint of annoyance he felt knowing Harry’s good mood must have something to do with Grimmy, or as Louis so often thought—Grimy. Seriously though, a twenty-six year old flirting with a seventeen year old was just foul in his mind but apparently to the radio host it was perfectly okay. Louis just has never trusted Nick and is probably a little over protective of Harry. Yeah, let'd go with that.

 

Louis found his red hoodie draped over the armrest of the sofa where he left it after storming away from Paul last night. “Someone is cheerful this morning,” he acknowledged with a smile because no matter what his mood was, seeing Harry happy was reason enough to let it all go.

 

“I _am_ in a great mood!” Harry smiled and followed Louis out the door.

 

They found the other three already in the lobby, which was a bit of surprise, especially since Zayn—the always late one—was on time. He and Liam sat looking at his phone snickering about something. Niall was passed out on the chair next to Liam—the sunglasses on, hood up, hands in pockets and mouth slightly open type of passed out. Paul as usual was staring down at his phone pacing back and forth in front of the lobby door.

 

It wouldn’t have been a typical day with the guys if Louis hadn’t gone up to Niall and slapped his cheek and yelled, “no sleeping Nialler!”

 

The blonde boy jumped out of his sleep and even though he started to laugh, the proper Niall response was, “fuck you Lewis.”

 

“I don’t do Irish guys. Sorry pal,” Louis smirked, the oldest and definitely the most immature. Just as he said it, he stole a glance at Paul who was in turn looking at him, mouth agape, and then went back to looking at his phone.

 

While Niall and Louis continued to joke around with one another, Harry joined Liam and Zayn who had gone back to their recently interrupted youtube video. “Zayn you’re on time. I'm proud of you, mate,” Harry clasped a hand on to his friend’s shoulder.

 

In response Zayn shook his head, “Paul sent me a wake up call an hour ago and told me to be ready in a half an hour.”

 

“Yeah but you’ve only just come down so doesn’t that mean you were still a half hour late?” Liam pointed out.

 

“Well, I guess that does make me the winner, yeah?” Zayn asked.

 

Harry chuckled and turned to his left where Paul had suddenly appeared and announced, “car is here. We have to get going.” Paul was either a hit or miss. There were times that he could be funny and really nice, but then there were other times when he got pissed off at certain people for going to Leeds for three days without him knowing. The latter would happen to be his mood right now.

 

Liam and Zayn simultaneously made their way towards the door, following Louis and Niall out to the van. Harry stayed in the back with Paul who had not yet moved. The curly haired boy smiled all too cheeky and placed a hand on his manager’s shoulder, “Hiya Paul.”

 

“Ready for today?” Paul asked most likely just to make conversation, but Harry found it funny.

 

“Oh I’m ready,” Harry was fighting back a laugh but his smile could not be any bigger. “What about you? Get enough sleep?” His hand hadn’t moved from the man’s shoulder as he waited for a response.

 

Paul sighed, “Let’s get in the car, yeah?”

 

Harry nodded with his smile still, “yes sir.” He pat him on the back before doing as he was asked. If Harry wasn’t “allowed” to leave for the weekend he would just have to hang around and be annoying, wouldn’t he?

 

By the time he made it to the car his amusement was wearing off and was replaced by annoyance as he remembered the conversation the night before. _You can’t just go gallivanting off like that. What kind of message are you two sending your fans?_ Of course Paul was referring to the whole ‘Larry’ thing, but Harry only cared that Louis hadn’t been there to hear it. He always became so defensive when the topic was brought up by management telling them to tone it down, which is probably why he had stormed off before Paul got to the real lecture.

 

Everyone else had settled in to the car and there was only one spot left for him—because sitting next to Paul was not going to be an option for him anytime soon. He smiled when he saw Louis in the spot next to his, silently grateful that their friends knew them so well, and climbed over Liam to get to the last row. Once settled in his seat he looked over to his friend who was typing a text to his mum.

 

“How is Johanna these days?” Harry asked quietly so not to disturb the other conversations going on around them.

 

Louis clicked his phone to sleep and made eye contact with green eyes, smiling appreciating-ly at Harry’s thought for others. “She’s good, yeah. Keeping busy with the girls and missing me. She was asking about you the other day,” he yawned.

 

Harry could tell that Louis wasn’t in the best mood since he wasn’t completely his crazy, loud, obnoxious, funny – all of the things he loved about the boy – self. Part of it he was sure was from being sleepy but he knew Louis better than Louis exposed and he knew that them seeing Grimmy soon was not helping the situation. “And how are you these days?” Harry put a hand on his friend’s leg, rubbing it back and forth on the jean material.

 

Louis chuckled lightly and glanced down at Harry’s hand. “These days,” he repeated. “Like you haven’t just spent an entire weekend in a tent with me.” He meant it exactly as the flirt came out and yawned again.

 

“He’s harmless,” was Harry’s response, not wanting to get off topic, because with Louis that was very easy to do.

 

He knew who Harry was referring to but he asked anyways as he scooted down in his seat and rested his cheek against Harry’s arm before closing his eyes, ready to go back to sleep.

 

“Nick,” Harry said and even just hearing his name bothered the older boy. He felt Harry’s arm shift and go around him to drape over his shoulder and his cheek landed softly on the younger one’s chest. He couldn’t help but smile when he felt Harry’s thumb lightly trace circles on his upper arm. He shifted slightly to move his right arm out from being crushed in between their bodies and placed his hand on Harry’s leg. “I just don’t want any problems today, you know? Can you be civil?”

 

Louis very softly chuckled because he knew how hard Harry was trying not to offend him. The younger boy had yet to realize it would take a lot more than him telling Louis to leave Grimmy alone to piss him off. “I can just not talk to him.”

 

Harry chuckled lightly too, “unless he asks a question on air.”

 

“He usually doesn’t ask them to me,” Louis pointed out.

 

The car came to a stop and Paul announced, “single file, just keep it moving. Liam and Zayn go first; then Niall, Louis, and Harry. We don’t have time for autographs. We’ll do it after. Hands to yourselves.” When Louis sat up he saw that Paul was looking at him and it took the loud screams that filled his ears when Liam jumped out of the car to keep him from telling Paul to go fuck himself. He really just hated management’s obsession lately with calming down Larry rumors and making sure he and Harry didn’t do anything to “add fuel to the fire”. Well, the more they didn’t want him too, the more he wanted to.

 

When they guys say in interviews that one of the best parts about their job is the fans and when they say they wouldn’t be where they were today without them, it was the absolute truth. As they were rushed through the crowd of screaming fans those intense feelings came rushing back to Louis and he was reminded that everything else was worth this. “Keep it moving,” a bodyguard said in his ear and he grabbed hold of his arm and ushered him in to the building. That’s generally how it had to be done when crowds were this vigorous.

 

“Can you imagine what signing will be like after this?” Liam asked.

 

It was Niall who chuckled the loudest and Zayn who made the joke, “who do you think is going to get kidnapped first?”

 

The elevator ride up was filled with small chatter and Grimmy was waiting eagerly at the studio door for their arrival. Louis watched with loathe as the man—because that’s what he was according to his _age_ —shook hands with Liam, then Zayn and Niall before connecting himself with Harry in a hug and a few pats on the back. Louis looked down at his feet and when he looked back up they were all walking in to the studio. It hadn’t even bothered him one bit that the radio host didn’t acknowledge him. It more so bothered him that his hand was splayed out in the middle of Harry’s back as they got caught up on how the other was doing.

 

***

 

Louis was the first one to get out of his chair when the interview concluded. He was ready to be away from this studio before he said something he would _not_ regret one bit. It was all the usual talk about the album, the single, being on x-factor, and the x-factor tour but being that the conversation was being lead by Grimmy… he just had to get out of there. Of course it was no surprise that Leeds was not mentioned at all, especially because they all knew that was the only thing fans wanted to hear about. “Hey, thanks for comin’ out lads. Always a pleasure,” Grimmy directed his attention to Harry. “Don’t be strangers.”

 

It was all Louis could do not to laugh out loud as he shoved his hands in to his pockets and looked around the room with an incredulous smile, which was better than the alternative of telling Grimmy he was unbelievable. While making his way towards the exit, everyone was saying their goodbyes. He passed Niall who placed a hand on his arm, patting it gently, and nodded when Louis stated he would be waiting in the hall.

 

There seemed to be even more fans outside when they made their way back towards the car. They stayed for about twenty minutes signing things, taking pictures and recording ‘Happy Birthdays’ or ‘Hellos’ to people who couldn’t make it.

 

***

 

“I’m starving,” Harry announced later that afternoon. When they had gotten back to the flat both had made it a point to head back to their beds, crawl in, and not move until they were starving or their bladder was about to erupt. Louis was the first to cave in to his hunger and was now perched on the couch, telly remote in one hand while he watched some recorded x-factor stuff and the other hand submerged in a bag of Walkers salt and vinegar crisps.

 

“Way ahead of you!” he held up the bag for Harry to see before stuffing a few more in his mouth.

 

Harry sat down on the chair next to the sofa, which Louis was occupying, and tucked his feet under him, “pass the crisps, please.”

 

He was already leaning forward and reaching out for Louis to meet him half way, “you know there’s room on the couch for you, Haz.”

 

Harry smiled cheekily, “if you’re trying to get your hands on me you’re not being very subtle about it.”

 

Louis returned the smile, adding a bit of a grin to his. This Harry was his favorite Harry; the one he could joke with and not have to walk on eggshells with. Even if he was still trying to figure out what exactly his boundaries were with his younger best friend, Harry’s statement wasn’t completely false. “There’s nothing subtle about me, Haz,” he took a chance with his response.

 

Harry chuckled, “good point.” But still he got to his feet and was next to Louis instantly, plopping down on the – much softer than the chair – couch cushion while slamming his body in to his friends.

 

“I said you could sit on the couch with me Harry, not break me,” Louis retorted playfully. He scooted over in the opposite direction just a little so that their bodies were not being crushed but still touching. Meanwhile the butterflies in his stomach were probably protruding out in every direction…visibly.

 

And a thousand more came along with shock when Harry responded; “you would love it if I broke you.” He said it so matter-of-fact that until Louis looked at the amused look on Harry’s face he took him completely serious. But it only took about a second for him to remember that Harry didn’t feel the same way he did, that Harry was just a funny, flirtatious, person, and always looking to get a reaction out of people. Well, he definitely got that reaction.

 

“Yes I would,” was Louis’ attempt at keeping the ‘joke’, going but the soft smooth silky voice that came out of his mouth told both of them that he meant it as anything but a joke. The silence that filled the space between them could have allowed for a pin drop to be heard had it not been for Simon Cowell’s voice bellowing through the telly.

 

Neither of them knew what to say or do next so they sat there just looking at one another, expressionless and exploring one another’s eyes. After what seemed like forever but was probably only a few seconds a ding rang through the flat and they both jumped and whipped their attention to the front door. “I’ll get it,” Harry jumped up before Louis could even collect a thought and ran to the other side of the room, not seeing the frown on his friend’s face.

 

He let out a big exhale doing his best to shake any residual shock from his own face before opening the door and the shock came right back to him. “Clem…” he said in a surprised tone—not that he wasn’t happy to see her. She was, after all, one of his very best friends from Holmes Chapel but he wasn’t sure why there wasn’t a phone call letting him know she was traveling to London. And how did she even get up here past security? No one knew who she was but him.

 

“Surprise!” she yelled and the giggled before embracing him in a hug.

 

Harry hugged her back, the familiar vanilla scent filling his nose and he smiled while tightening his embrace, “what are you doing here? How did you even get up here?”

 

The girl cocked her head to the side as if to think about what she was going to say, “did you realize just how much power your mum has over those security guards?” She let out a chuckle and shifted her purse on her shoulder, “she talked to some guy named Paul who showed me where to go.”

 

Harry chuckled as well, “pretty sure Paul is afraid of my mum.”

 

She smiled and nodded her understanding and then there was silence between the two. Suddenly Harry remembered his manners and stepped to the side, “come in, come in.” He turned around to the sofa, planning to introduce his two friends but Louis was no longer in the room. Harry’s heart sank a little bit as he remembered what had happened minutes before and figured Louis was probably completely embarrassed. Plus there was a tiny bit of worry. He felt like they had just gotten in to some huge disagreement and he didn’t like confrontation at all; especially with Louis because they were always okay with each other. “So what are you doing here?” he repeated his question, taking a seat on the couch as she occupied the spot next to him.

 

“I’ve enrolled in LCF. Going to get my degree in fashion. Classes start next week,” she beamed. For as long as Harry could remember, Clementine has always been such a nice, positive, and happy person and he genuinely missed being able to see that smile on her face.

 

“So you’ve moved to London?” Harry asked, excited to have a little part of home closer to him since his family couldn’t be there all the time.

 

She nodded, “I have. More downtown though since I live on campus.”

 

The two of them spent the next several hours catching up with each other, laughing, joking, and eating. Harry caught her up on what was going on with the band as well as a promise that she would meet the four of them soon and she caught him up with the little changes happening in Holmes Chapel. But Clementine had just left and as soon as Harry clicked the locked on the door Louis’ face popped in to his mind. He leaned against the door and sighed, standing there for a while before running a hand through his hair and then down his face.

 

He shut the lights off and made his way down the hallway stopping at the first room on his left. He tapped lightly on the door and when he didn’t hear anything he turned the knob and peeked in. Louis’ was tucked in to bed and turned over so he couldn't see his face. “Lou?” Harry whispered only loud enough for his friend to hear had he been awake. When he didn’t respond or move Harry quietly shut the door and made his way to his own room. 

 

But what he couldn’t see was that Louis was very much awake and staring at the wall across the room. He’d been in the same position for a while now wanting desperately to fall asleep and forget about the fool he’d made of himself, forget about the fact that he could have very much jeopardized the best friendship he has ever had, and forget about just how much of his heart Harry unknowingly held. The more he thought about it the more he had wished to be anywhere else but there.


	3. What Makes You Beautiful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Thank you so much for reading! For this chapter I wanted to really show how Harry and Louis are feeling and to kind of get the feelings rolling. So, because of that it isn't so action packed. Sorry about that! But, I hope you enjoy it anyways :) Sorry for any typos!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)

                                                            

***

Louis woke up the next morning because when he sniffed the smell that entered his nostrils was way too nice of a scent for him to not go and find out what it was. He found Harry in the kitchen and it explained everything. The boy was busy at work pouring ladles full of white batter in to a skillet, hand towel draped over his shoulder and only a pair of boxers as his attire. He was moving to the beat of 'Last Friday Night' by Katy Perry and Louis smiled. On a plate to the right of the stove was a platter of sausages. A bottle of orange juice was next to that and just past that, a bowl of strawberries.

Louis' gaze went back to Harry who was now at the sink rinsing his hands off and his smile faded. The look on Harry's face last night when he had muttered those three words, 'yes I would', had blocked out the wonderful sight in front of him, blocked out the fantasy he had of wrapping his arms around the taller boy and kissing him lightly on the lips. It was this image exactly that had upset him so quickly. And in there somewhere was the fear that Harry would see the truth of that admission and everything would change. He shouldn't have said it at all.

It was as if Louis was back home, talking to his best friend about a crush, able to say anything and everything he wanted because there was no way that person would ever find out. But no, Louis had actually said it _to_ his crush-- caught up in the moment of joking around and was too stunned to even play it off as a joke. He had no idea who 'Clem' was but at that moment he didn't care and was all too happy to have found an escape from the situation until Harry had forgotten all about it. As he lay in his bed waiting for his body (and mind) to go to sleep, he could hear the faint voices of Harry and a girl talking and laughing occasionally. He assured himself Harry had forgotten all about it.

But that assurance had popped right out of his head the very moment when Harry looked up at him, wiping his damp hands on the cloth, and asked joyfully, "Hi Lou, are you feeling better?"

Louis' heart skipped a beat, something churned in his stomach, and he was scared to swallow because he was sure Harry would notice the lump going down his throat. He immediately started to search his brain for an explanation to give his friend, a way to play down the situation and have a laugh about it. But by the time his vision had focused properly again on his friend, the younger boy was frowning, "You know, when someone asks if you're feeling okay, it isn't meant to make you feel worse." And then he gave a small smile.

Harry saw the worry on his friend's face. Louis bit his lip when he was nervous and his brows furrowed as if he were trying to concentrate on something. He stood still as a statue and it didn't even look as if he were breathing. But Harry was still able to give him a sympathetic smile, even if something inside his own body felt unsettled. Everything in this moment had given both boys the answers they lay awake wondering about. Louis meant what he said and Harry had not forgotten about it.

Louis returned a very small smile and fumbled with the sleeve of his hoodie, pulling it down over his hand, nerves rising. "Sorry," it came out as more of a whisper and at first he thought Harry hadn't heard him. He was more referring to what happened the night before. Hopefully Harry understood that.

Harry did understand and he didn't think that Louis had anything to be sorry for. It was too small of a thing for either of them to dwell on. So, Louis had a crush on him. It wasn't a big deal and as far as he was concerned it wouldn't change anything about them. Louis was still his best friend and he wanted it to stay that way. But Louis didn't look like he wanted to talk about anything, his cheeks turning pink, and plus there was still the small hint of unsettling in Harry's stomach. He brushed it off as hunger.

"Don't be sorry. Clearly I'm already horrible at this whole 'make your best mate feel better thing', so let me try again," he put a plate of pancakes on the counter as close to where Louis was standing. "I've made pancakes and sausages. I didn't fresh squeeze the orange juice but I did wash the berries," he beamed. The smile on his face was real and meant to magically make his older friend feel better; to let him know that there wasn't anything to feel bad about. He felt successful and satisfied when Louis smiled a little wider.

"You really didn't have to do this, Haz," Louis said, but he was already striding towards the bar stool where the plate was. His stomach fluttered at how thoughtful Harry was. How had he gotten so lucky?

"Just sit down and eat these pancakes that I slaved over a hot stove to make," he reprimanded with a smile still on his face. "I even put extra sugar and less lemon, just the way you like them."

And that _was_ just the way he liked them. "Thank you."

He was already taking a bite, though, when Harry pointed at the plate with the spatula, shouting much too loud for morning, "eat!"

"What do you think I'm doing curly?" He asked with a mouth full of pancake and sass. "If I shove any more in my mouth I'll choke." Harry's eyes darted, from the frying pan, to Louis with a grin, an overly amused smile, but Louis beat him to it, pointing his fork back at him, "don't you dare..." He knew exactly what Harry was thinking. Harry's favorite jokes were those not suited for general audiences. Penis jokes.

Harry shrugged, unable to wipe the grin off his face, and went back to taking the pancakes out of the skillet-- putting them on to another plate, "start choking because Niall is on his way." Louis didn't respond, just put another forkful of food in his mouth, a little bigger than the previous one. His chewing was interrupted when he heard a softer more gentle, "Lou?" He was reluctant to look up, knowing the tone of Harry's voice was full of concern. Here it comes, he thought to himself-- the moment where he was going to have to come up with some sort of explanation and either tell the truth, which would change everything forever, or lie to his best mate, which would also change everything forever, He willed his attention to Harry and saw the concern he had heard so clearly. Harry was biting his lip and then in that same gentle voice he asked, "we're okay, yeah?"

Louis swallowed what was in his mouth quickly so that he could smile. Harry had no idea how happy that question had made him, especially the fact that he knew the subject would be dropped. No explanation would be needed and no lies would have to be told. "Of course. We always are."

Harry smiled, "good because I think I'd lose my mind if we weren't." He watched as Louis smiled into his plate of pancakes and noticed the color of his friend's face turn slightly pink. He himself was unable to ignore the tiny breath catch in his throat before he swallowed it down. Something in his stomach tickled and he found himself smiling at the older boy who was busying himself with a strawberry. His admiration was interrupted by an Irish accent filling the room. "I'm beginning to think the living arrangements are all wrong lads. I need to be in this flat. Smells great!"

"You ever wonder why is it that we always hear Niall before we actually see him?" Louis asked. Harry chuckled and poured more batter in to the skillet.

"As long as he's complimenting my food I don't mind." Niall chuckled and took a seat next to Louis at the counter. "Hungry Nialler?" Harry asked, a huge beaming smile on his face. Had he been smiling any more his cheeks would be in his hair.

"What do you honestly think the answer to that question is, Harry?" Louis asked in an unbelieving tone, wondering why Harry even thought of such a question. But he smiled, happy to see that Harry was in a good mood, and also relieved that he himself could breathe.

Niall chuckled again, "even I gotta wonder that one myself, Lad."

"Hello, hello! Good morning," another voice rang out from the front door area.

Harry and Louis exchanged a look, a bite of pancake hanging out of the older one's mouth while Harry held a dangling half-cooked pancake on the spatula. "I think we have to start locking our door," Harry put the pancake down, cooked side up.

"No need," Liam said, leaning on the counter with his hands clasped in front of him. "I've gotten a key from Paul."

Louis raised an eyebrow, "you would. Can we at least have a knock or a warning before you barge in on our privacy?"

Liam grinned, "of course Lou. After all, there are _some things_ I'd rather not walk in on." He stole a glance at each boy. Only Louis had noticed as Harry was busy plating pancakes, not seeming to have heard what their friend said.

Liam was still grinning when he let his head fall down on to the counter and chuckle in to it. Louis felt his cheeks begin to warm at the thought of what his friend might be referring to, or rather what his own mind was referring to, and he let out a small chuckle. Jokingly he said, "you can just get the hell out with that crap, Li."

"As soon as Harold serves me sausages and pancakes," he sat down next to Niall.

"Where's Zayn?" Louis asked.

"Asleep," Liam responded.

"Naturally," Louis said as if that wasn't anything new. Just like Zayn to sleep in, or rather at any time there was sunlight and he had the chance to. "So, Harry had a girl over last night," Louis dragged out the 'so' and grinned at Liam and Niall who had both put their forks down from shock; Niall's still had food on it. He wasn't even sure why he brought it up. Just the thought of Harry getting close to any one else, especially a girl because Harry wasn't gay and their relationship could actually go somewhere, bothered him more than he wanted it to. But he knew the other two would drill Harry to no end and this was his best chance to get the information he needed, without sounding jealous, which really was only one thing: did Harry like her?

"Thanks a lot Lou," Harry was smiling, a little bit of color filling his cheeks.

"Look at that!" Liam was pointing at Harry, a big smile on his face. He chuckled, "he's blushing. I do believe we've got a winner! Harold had a girlfriend."

Niall chuckled but quickly looked at Louis who was also smiling, insincerely, and repeatedly poking a pancake. "I do not. We are only friends. I've known her a long time."

"That's what they all say," Liam was having too much fun with this.

Harry had since become even more red in the face, "no it's what I say. We are just friends." He glanced at Louis. Something in him really wanted Louis to understand that. But Louis was too busy swirling a strawberry around in powdered sugar.

"I don't believe you," Liam pointed out. And then casually added, "so when can we meet her? Oh wait, Lou, you've already met her, yeah? Is she hot?" Louis' gaze darted to Liam, doing his best to act normal, but Niall had hit Liam in the back of the head without a word. "Ow, what...?" He started to ask and added, "oh, sorry Lou. I know girls really aren't your thing..."

But Niall groaned and shook his head, "that slap was supposed to remind you that you _actually do_ have a girlfriend."

Liam looked dumbfounded, held his hands out and shrugged, "yes I know."

Niall chuckled and responded by putting another half of a pancake in his mouth.

"So, Harold, when can we...." Liam started again.

"Never," Harry smiled at the reaction he got from Liam who looked as if someone's just told him he had a horn growing out of his forehead. "Because you don't believe that we're just friends."

Liam rolled his eyes, "oh fine, okay. I believe you. Just friends. _Now_ can we meet her?"

Harry shook his head but he was still smiling. Normal color had returned to his face. "She's coming over next weekend. I've invited her to Red and Black." And just like that, Louis wanted to lose his breakfast, but he sat quietly as the other three continued to talk about the subject that he was now wishing he hadn't even brought up.

***

After everyone had finished breakfast, Liam excused himself to go find Danielle, by way of making sure Zayn was alive, Harry said he was going to shower because he smelled like flour, and Louis and Niall were already betting on the best 2 out of 3 in FIFA '11. The older boy was feeling better already because the loser of the net had to post a 'nothing but boxers' picture on Twitter. Management would have a heart attack, but who really cared?

"You better start stripping now, Nialler," Louis beamed with confidences hole putting the game into the console. "I don't know what makes me happier. Fucking with management or you having to expose yourself to Twitter."

Niall chuckled, "not so fast, Tommo. I've been catching up on my game. I think you should be the one to start stripping."

"You don't scare me, boy," Louis responded and pressed the home button on his xbox controller to turn it on.

They played for what seemed to be hours. When Louis finally looked at his phone it had confirmed they were indeed playing for hours. He looked outside and noticed the sun was going down. They had decided hours ago that both of them were too good and they should just forget about the bet. "Well," Niall stretched. "It's been fun but I'm headed out to the pub with some lads. Wanna come?"

Louis yawned just as Niall had asked so he shook his head, "think it's gonna be an early night for me. Have fun, though." He locked the door behind Niall and his first thought was influenced by his stomach. He was hungry. His mind went back to breakfast and his second thought was where's Harry? He hadn't seen him since he went to take a shower that morning.

He made his way down the hallway and knocked on Harry's door. "It's open," Harry answered from the other side. He was sitting on his bed, computer in his lap, fingers typing vigorously and he was laughing to himself. He looked up when the door had opened, "hi."

"I'm bored," was all Louis said but he added a sigh for extra effect. "And hungry."

Harry chuckled, "you just got done playing like 8 hours of FIFA. You should be tired."

Louis yawned at the mention of tired and sat down on the end of Harry's bed, facing him, before crossing his legs, "I'm that too."

A grin formed on his friend's face, "enjoy it while it lasts. You won't get many more days like this." Harry was referring to the boredom that Louis had complained about. Louis shrugged and yawned again. Harry's eyes brightened, "how about a movie?"

Louis smiled and made to get off the bed, "I'll get the popcorn."

Harry closed his computer and tossed it on the bed. "No, I'll get the popcorn. You just... Pick the movie."

"I _can_ use a microwave, you know," Louis reminded Harry. Louis wasn't the best person to leave alone in the kitchen and everyone knew that. One of Harry's biggest fears was that the flat would burn down while he was asleep because Louis wanted a cuppa tea. But Harry was already out of the room. It didn't take long for Louis to decide on a movie. While he was going to pick Grease, he figured he had made Harry watch it enough already, and he didn't dare contemplate Love Actually or The Notebook -- so in went Inception.

He put it in to the DVD player under the TV and grabbed the remote before crawling back in to bed, this time under the down comforter and sunk his head in to a soft pillow, which smelled exactly like Harry. He turned on his side and buried his nose deeper in to the pillow, inhaling deeply and sighing happily. Harry came back a few minutes later with a massive bowl of popcorn. "I can't believe I am in _the_ Harry Styles' bed," Louis' grin was barely visible since he had the blankets up to his face.

Harry laughed, "you can't be that excited until you've had the _full_ experience of being in my bed." He winked and Louis chuckled really loud.

"Well is that an invite?" The older boy asked in a seductive tone.

Harry had since crawled in to bed and hovered over Louis. With a grin he responded, "if you want it to be." And before Louis could react Harry had bent down, pulled the covers back, and sunk his teeth in to his friends neck, grabbed hold of the skin, bit down and then let go.

He lifted himself back up to look at the expression on the other boy's face but did not leave his spot of hovering over Louis who had since gasped in surprise, "You twat. You bit me!" He looked at Harry with wide eyes, and covered the still wet spot on his neck.

"It's called a love bite. I give them to all my pals," the younger boy was smiling, obviously proud of himself, and then bit his lip.

Louis was completely flustered at this point and feeling really vulnerable underneath Harry who had one hand on the mattress on either side of him. For the younger boy's own well being, Louis pushed him up a little. "You little shit. You do not!"

Harry retreated back to his spot on the bed while laughing, "okay, maybe I don't."

Louis, too, had sat up and leaned back against the headboard, reaching for the remote with one hand and into the bowl of popcorn with another, which was now placed between the two of them; which Louis hated by the way. He would much rather that much space not be between he and Harry.

As they watched the movie -- more like stared at the television -- neither of them really knew what was going on; both of them immersed in their own thoughts. Louis couldn't get the feeling of Harry's mouth on his neck out of his mind and he found himself really wanting to go back to the moment. The further time went on, the more he missed it, the more he wanted to feel the warmth of Harry's lips, teeth, and tongue graze across his skin.

Harry had stolen a glance at Louis, a little disappointed that he looked so in to the movie. How could he not thinking about what just happened? It was all Harry _could_ think about, and it actually scared the hell out of him. Louis was his best friend, and let's not forget the fact that Louis was a boy. Louis was gay, yes, and there wasn't anything wrong with that. But Harry was not gay. Harry had girlfriends.

So the feeling of butterflies in his stomach that would not go away was scaring the hell out of him. The fact that he found himself wanting to experience that moment again with Louis was scaring the hell out of him. The fact that he could imagine himself running his hands through Louis' hair and connecting their lips together was enough to send him screaming from the room. So when Louis yawned and apologetically explained that he really was too tired and was going to head to bed, Harry did not argue as he usually did. Instead all he could muster up was a simple, "okay," because anything else that came out of his mouth would have been to ask Louis to stay in here, in his bed, with him and sleep.

"Goodnight," Louis said quietly.

"Night," Harry responded, because no, it wouldn't be a good night. It would be a restless night filled with wonder and emptiness.


	4. I Should Have Kissed You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took forever for me to write! I kept rewriting and changing things. Oh my god it took so long to be content with what I wrote. Hope you all like it!
> 
> Oh and I'm. It sure who made the gif but her is the link! Thank you to whoever did, though!  
> http://pixel.nymag.com/imgs/daily/vulture/2014/11/17/one-direction-gif.o.jpg/a_560x0.jpg
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)

                

***

Louis leaned against the kitchen counter with a cup of tea in his hands and watched Harry's thumbs flit quickly over the keypad of his phone. He had a pink tint to his cheeks and there wasn't any doubt as to who he was talking to. It was the same person he had been talking to every morning for the last two weeks.

The older boy rolled his eyes and started to dig through the freezer for the box of frozen waffles he knew they had. "Sooo," he dragged on the 'o', "how's your _girlfriend_ today?" He put a slight emphasis on the word 'girlfriend'.

Harry smirked at the evident jealousy in his voice, actually delighted that it was still there after all this time. Louis usually got bored with things quickly, but this had been going on for a couple of weeks now. He loved all the times Louis would make little remarks about he and Clementine. He really just loved the sarcasm and the teasing his friend would throw his way. "She's not my girlfriend," he said out loud with humor in his voice.

"Could have fooled me," Louis mumbled to the directions on the back of the box. Harry's smirk stayed on his face because there it was again. Sometimes he felt guilty for enjoying the sarcasm and the jealousy, but then Louis would do something adorable like sigh or roll his eyes and Harry would forget all about feeling bad because he would get too caught up in the excitement stirring in his stomach.

Louis has never done extremely well with hiding his emotions. He was easily an open book and he wanted it that way because life really was too short to beat around the bush. But he did pride himself in the way he expressed his emotions because it was hard to tell what he really meant; except for Harry who seemed to always know, leaving Louis to do a lot of denying. Harry was grinning at him from his spot at the breakfast counter when he turned around, "you're cute when you get jealous."

And just like that, the roles had reversed and it was Louis who turned a shade pinker. "'M not jealous," he countered and turned around to put two waffles in the toaster, hoping he hadn't been caught, "I'm just observant." He had become really good at playing things off with the younger boy, but there were some times when Harry didn't buy it and he had a feeling this was one of those times. The chair scraped against the floor and the sound of bare feet shuffling across it was getting closer to him.

"You _are_ jealous," Louis' heart leapt in his chest and his stomach started fluttering way too much when two arms wrapped his around his middle and a chin rested on his shoulder. The familiar scent of Blue aftershave that Harry loved so much filled his nostrils and he had to work really hard to focus on what the boy was saying. "You're afraid I'm going to leave you for her. I see it in your eyes every time her name comes up."

Louis leaned back in to Harry more, both for the closeness - because hey, if Harry was offering it would be rude not to accept - and the support to not fall over. And then he rested his head on the side of his face. Being this close was the best feeling in the world but it reminded Louis of what he feared more than anything: losing Harry... to anyone, not just Clementine - she just happened to be the subject right now...the threat.

Sometimes Louis wondered why he felt so threatened by her because she wasn't the one Harry lived with and she wasn't the one Harry spent almost all day every day with. But, she was the one he would wake up messaging and the one he would go to sleep talking to, or how could Louis forget all the times Harry would zone out of their conversations to continue texting with her? Even if Harry wasn't gay, even if Harry didn't feel the same way about him; he needed and wanted his best friend by his side always and part of him felt that slipping away. Plus, there was the small issue that Louis was in love with Harry and Harry was quickly becoming infatuated with someone else. Sometimes he just wanted to scream at the younger boy, 'I'm right here!'

He turned around to face Harry, who was frowning, and responded to his statement. "I want you to be happy, Harry," and that was partly the truth. "I just don't want us to change," and that was the complete truth.

He had seen it happen too many times with friends or people in his old school where someone would get in to a relationship and forget about people who were there before. One thing was for sure: if Harry were his, everyone else could easily be forgotten; he would own up to that and that was why he wouldn't fault Harry if it happened. He was just too selfish to be okay with the boy he loved being in love with someone else.

His simple confession tugged at Harry's heart. His brows furrowed and he frowned seeing the concern on Louis' face and hearing it in his voice. Louis was always the most confident one in the band; the one that never gave two shits about what anyone else thought or did because he knew what was real and what wasn't. It upset Harry and made him feel like he had done something wrong for Louis to even contemplate this. When had he ever given Louis reason to question the solidity of their relationship?

"Lou, that wouldn't happen. It just - it wouldn't, okay?" he needed him to know that more than anything. He reached up and ran his hand lightly down the length of Louis' cheek in consolation and smiled, "you're my best mate and you're stuck with me for life." The sincerity of his voice was warm enough to prompt a smile from his friend.

Louis nodded quickly, missing the touch of Harry's hand - even if his fingers were cold, "you're such a sap." _An adorable sap that I really want to kiss right now_ , he thought to himself.

One corner of Harry's mouth twitched up in to a sideways smile and the pink tint in his cheeks did not go unnoticed by the older boy who leaned back against the counter for support and to put a little distance between the two of them before he actually did kiss him. Whether or not his mind was playing tricks on him, Louis thought he noticed Harry move closer. He bit his bottom lip and the only thing keeping him from moving forward about a foot, towards the pinkness of the younger one's lips that were just barely parted, was everything.

The toaster dinged and with the silence in the room it had sounded like a bomb, making both of them jump. Harry stepped back and Louis reached for two plates in the cupboard. "Waffle? Syrup?" he asked nonchalantly as if what just happened didn't happen at all. But his face was burning with embarrassment.

Harry did his best to sound as casual as Louis, "please." But his heart was beating fast and it scared him because this was not the first time he'd had this feeling in the last couple of weeks. Louis was his best friend, not his boyfriend and then there was the fact that Harry wasn't gay - so what the hell was going on? He should never _ever_ even _think_ about kissing Louis, but he does and each time he feels himself getting a little more courageous to the point where one day it might actually happen. Yeah, that scared him shitless.

Clementine was a really good distraction from whatever confusion his mind would make him suffer through when it came to Louis Tomlinson. It was her that he would go to, to feel a sense of normalcy, to be reminded that he once wanted more than anything to be with her and part of him still wonders how great that would be.

"Clem is coming today," he said when Louis gave him his waffle by sliding it across the counter. He wanted Louis to be prepared and he might have also wanted to hear his reaction.

Harry sat in a stool and Louis stood across from him and smirked in to a bite of his waffle to hide the annoyance, "not your girlfriend, eh? This is a pretty important event you're inviting her to."

Harry shook his head and chuckled, "she's not my girlfriend, and it's not _that_ important." Yes the two had gotten close again, closer than they were when he left Holmes Chapel, but Harry still wasn't sure what they were.

Louis rolled his eyes clearly not buying it, "right. Our first televised performance of What Makes You Beautiful. Not that important. Let's just skip it, then, yeah?"

"Don't be a shit," Harry chuckled. The two shared a smile and Harry's turned in to a grin, "I can't wait for you two to meet."

Louis had heard so much about Clementine and been around so many conversations she and Harry had on the phone but it didn't even register that he'd never met her in person; probably because he didn't want to. He didn't want to put a face or a personality to the girl who would eventually take Harry away from him. He put on a beaming smile to amuse his friend, "me neither." But really it'd be fine if she got lost on the way, or slipped in a ditch and got paved over with mud then tar.

***

But of course she hadn't gotten lost, or slipped into a ditch somewhere, or any of the other scenarios that Louis' entertained himself with on the way to the station. When he and the rest of the guys made it there a few hours later it was her face he first picked out from the crowd, recognizing her from the stalking he had done on Facebook. Plus there was the fact that she was standing right next to his mum who immediately enveloped him in to a hug.

Jay wrapped her arms tightly around her son's neck and her voice filled his ears, "Louis, my love. God I have missed you." He saw Harry scoop his own mother in to his arms and then reach for Clementine to join in.

But nothing was going to ruin this moment of seeing his mom after three really long weeks so he turned his face in to her neck. He squeezed her back, savoring her smell, her touch, her voice, this moment, "I missed you too mum... _so much_!"

She was the first one to pull back from the hug and cradled his face in her hands, looking him over - up and down, "you look well. Nothing out of the ordinary."

He chuckled and put his hands on her wrists, "it's been about three weeks. Were you expecting some sort of major change?"

Jay smiled and moved her hands down to his arms, gripping lightly, "well I don't know, the last time I got a ring from Paul it seems as if you and Harry ran away together." Louis' cheeks warmed at her mention of that. The way she made it sound was exactly how she meant it.

"Mum..." Louis began but was interrupted by the sound of another voice calling their names. Anne, Harry's mum was pulling him in to another bone crushing hug. Jay was doing the same with Harry. Clementine was standing off to the side on her phone. _Smart choice_ , Louis thought to himself.

"It's lovely to see you, Anne. Alright?" Louis kissed her cheek.

She stepped back and wrapped her arm around Harry's waist and he did the same with her, "yeah. been good. Happy to see my boy." She beamed when Harry pulled her closer.

Then a number of high pitched voices started yelling Louis' name. He smiled and dropped to his knees just as his little sisters ran in to his arms and he had to place a hand on the ground momentarily so he didn't fall over. "Hi girls," he exclaimed kissing each one of their heads or cheeks - whatever he could reach. He took great pride in being the older brother of these four precious human beings, and being away from them was difficult. A lump formed in his throat and his eyes burned a little from the tears he was trying to hold back.

Jay smiled down at them and folded her arms, "they've been talking about seeing you since last week when we found out we would be coming."

Everyone else's families were there as well: Liam's, Zayn's, and Niall's. The room was full of tears - mostly from the mums - laughter, smiles, and chatter. It was the happiest Louis had been in a while - to have his family there and see his other four band mates happy as well.

***

Louis was busy talking with his mum all the while keeping at least one eye on the four girls at all times - who were busy chasing each other and giggling through the room, stopping every so often to apologize to someone they had bumped in to.

His eyes fell on the back of two heads while scanning the room and he could not mistake them for anyone else; especially with her long strawberry blonde hair and his dark curls. He frowned at how close the two were standing, he frowned at their arms wrapped around each other's waist, he frowned when she kissed his cheek, and he felt the tug in his chest with the realization that Harry and Clementine looked perfectly happy together, whether she was his girlfriend or not.

He hadn't realized he'd been distant from the conversation with his mum until she put a hand on his shoulder, "who is she, love?" Her voice was low and he could tell her was skeptical to ask, knowing it was a touchy subject.

Louis shrugged, "her name is Clementine. A friend of Harry's from back home." There wasn't much else to say. Louis looked at the time on his phone wishing time could run out so he wouldn't have to meet her. Harry was adamant on introducing her to the entire band. Poor Zayn was the victim right now and Louis only hoped he wouldn't be next. At least Liam and Danielle had just walked up to them so that would waste time.

"And are they -" she started to ask, pulling him back in to the conversation. But he didn't want to hear the next word that would come out of her mouth so he cut her off.

"No," he said quickly, probably more to convince himself of this than Jay. And then he added, "he says they're just friends. I think he'd tell me if that had changed."

"And how are the two of _you_ doing?" she asked sensing the disbelief of his own statement in her son's voice.

He looked to her and nodded with only half a smile, "we're good, yeah." They _were_ good but it was hard for Louis to be happy with the truth literally right in front of him, which he has been fighting so hard not to think about. It was easier to ignore when there was only a phone, but now with an actual person here it was real.

"So, how are you doing?" Jay voiced her concern.

He'd forgotten that in a moment of weakness and having to listen to a five minute too long conversation between Harry and Clementine, he called his mum and confessed everything he was feeling about Harry. "I'm surviving," is all he said. For one he didn't want to hear himself say how horrible thing moment was for him and for two he didn't want to worry his mum anymore than she already did.

***

While Jay went in search of her four girls who had run off somewhere with Lou Teasdale, Louis made said hello to Liam's family, then Zayn's, and finally to Naill's dad and brother. He was just looking down at the time on the phone when Harry's voice was in his ear.

"There you are, Lou," Harry placed a hand on his back, curling the tips of his fingers slightly around his side.

Louis smiled at the touch and when he turned around his smile faltered slightly. He noticed how Harry's other hand held tightly on to hers and they were both beaming at him. What they expected from him he had no idea. "Lou, this is Clementine," Harry smiled adoringly, first to her and then back at the older boy. Okay, he met her, no they could go away. But of course that wasn't how it worked.

Louis put on his best full smile but it was again compromised and turned in to shock when she pulled him forward in to a hug, one that he was not even going to contemplate returning. He stood there putting all his energy in to not cringing because Harry was looking at him and judging by the expression on his face, he really wanted Louis to like her. So, he would do his best for now... For Harry. "It's so nice to meet you finally," she said in his ear. And when she pulled back, "Harry has told me so many wonderful things about you. He thinks so much of you!"

Had it been a different circumstance entirely Louis might actually like her. She seemed sweet and she _was_ polite, but he couldn't get past the thought of her and Harry having a future.

"It's lovely to meet you too," he smiled. And really it wasn't because he could care less about her but there was certainly no mistaking the blush on Harry's face from her very last sentence. That was what he was smiling about.

"Are you excited for the show?" she asked. She really was trying but Louis couldn't stand when people tried too hard.

His eyes lit up in an overly dramatic way, "oh yeah. I reckon it's gunna be Brill!"

Clementine leaned in to Harry with one arm around his waist and her free hand pat his stomach a couple times, "Poor Harry is so nervous, aren't you love?"

'Love' was the only word Louis heard in her sentence and his smile faltered. He cleared his throat, "would you excuse me a moment. I'm so sorry to be rude. I just - I remembered what I needed to tell my mum and with my memory if I don't tell her right now I'll forget again." Clementine was still beaming and nodded but Harry made sure that Louis saw the confusion on his face. "Great to meet you," he nodded to her and reached out to tap Harry's cheek, "see you out there, Haz." Harry's furrowed eyebrow had not changed, still wanting Louis' to know he wasn't happy, but Louis still turned around and rolled his eyes at no one, so over this day.

***

The five of them: Harry, Liam, Zayn, Niall, and Louis left the stage and headed in to the hallway, which was filled with family members, team members, and show cast members. Everyone was clapping and cheering, patting their backs and shoulders. There was a mixture of, "great job guys", "way to go!" and "that was amazing! They loved you!" But Louis could care less about the praise they were getting or even thanking people for being so kind. This was a huge moment for him and the rest of the guys but he couldn't think about that right now. Harry was at the front of the line and he needed to get to him. Even with Zayn, Liam, and Niall in front of him, Louis could make out the disappointment on Harry's face.

Not according to anyone else, but according to Harry, he had messed up the entire Red & Black performance when he didn't take a deep enough breath for his solo and had let everyone down. Louis knew from that moment on that Harry just wasn't himself. He saw the pain and humiliation his friend felt. Right now all he wanted to do was get to Harry, make sure he was okay, and let him know he didn't do anything wrong; let him know that he and everyone else were still proud of him.

He could see up ahead that people were starting to do that already and Harry was nodding to be polite, forging a smile whenever he could. It was clear, though, he didn't believe anything anyone told him. By the time Louis got to the front, Anne was hugging him with concern evident on her face - no doubt just in pain for her son. "You were great baby. You gave it your all and no one will ever fault you for that, okay? It was your first time up there."

Harry pulled back and mumbled, "thanks." But he didn't believe it at all. First time or not, it was televised and so many people were counting on him. The other four guys flashed in to his mind and his heart hurt thinking of how much they must hate him.

Anne smiled sympathetically and caressed his cheeks with her thumbs, "we're always proud of you Harry."

It was difficult but he gave her a smile, "I just want to go home and forget all this."

"I'll walk you to the car," she ushered him through the doorway.

Louis' felt worse for Harry with each second that passed. He followed closely behind him as they all made their way to the van and was aware of every single time the younger boy sniffled or reached up to wipe his nose or eyes. It was the most powerless and awful feeling for Louis to know there wasn't anything he could do to cheer Harry up or make him feel differently about himself. He'd been hearing it from everyone for the past half hour and if they couldn't convince him, there wasn't any way _he_ could. But that didn't stop him from still wanting to wrap his arms around Harry and repeat over and over how wonderful he thought he was.

Harry gave Anne one last hug and told her he would see her tomorrow for lunch before climbing in to the back of the van. Louis went to get in next - because there was no way anyone else was taking the spot next to his best friend - but was stopped by a light touch on his arm. He looked to Anne who looked so sad and Louis felt his chest tighten. "Take care of him, Lou. Please," her voice broke on the last word.

Louis gave a half smile, pulling her in to a quick hug and kissed her cheek, "always. I'll call you when he goes to sleep."

She pulled him back in for another hug and whispered, "thank you."

He climbed in to the back of the van and immediately pulled his friend closer, wrapping his left arm around the boy's shoulder. Harry willingly let him and rested his head on the older boy's chest, letting out a sigh. He took his right arm and slid it behind Louis and draped his left arm over Louis' middle, cuddling in to him. It took all of Louis not to kiss the top of Harry's head. Instead he slid down in his seat so they were both more comfortable and screw anyone who saw or disapproved. Once in a while Harry would sniffle and that was the only sound that came out of all five of them the entire ride to the manor.

Once everyone was upstairs Harry accepted a hug from Liam then Zayn then Niall who all told him he did great. He just thought they were being too nice to tell him what they really thought.

Louis closed and locked the door to their flat while Harry went to take a seat on the sofa and unlock his iPhone. He had never seen him this upset before and had no idea if he should let him be or comfort him. He went with the comforting, more because it was he who needed Harry to know he was there for him.

He knelt down in front of him and even from upside down, Louis could see some of the hate that Harry was reading about himself on Twitter. He quickly put his hand over Harry's phone to block out the screen. "Harry, love, I know you're upset and I'm not denying you that, but please..." his voice broke and the rest came out in a pleading whisper, "please don't read that stuff." All of those people didn't know a damn thing about Harry and Louis sure as hell wasn't going to let him think they did.

"I ruined it," was Harry's weakened response. He had woken up that morning and his first thought was Red & Black. Sure he had been nervous but he was way too excited to let it affect him. Never had he ever imagined the night would turn in to the shit it was. Even strangers that he didn't even know, that didn't even know him, were disappointed. It was becoming unbearable. And Louis of all people shouldn't even be talking to him right now, let alone trying to make him feel better. He didn't deserve it.

"No, Harry you didn't ruin anything. You were amazing! Your nerves got the best of you and that happens to everyone," his voice was soft and quiet but strong and matter-of-fact. He took the hand that was not still covering the phone and rubbed up and down the side of Harry's leg.

"It didn't happen to you guys," Harry was referring to the other four. He appreciated what Louis was trying to do, but he didn't need to be lied to. He wasn't amazing and this sort of thing didn't just happen to everyone; it happened to people like him who weren't good enough and there were plenty of people on twitter who agreed.

Louis shook his head, "Not tonight, but it could. It could happen to any of us at any point. We aren't perfect Harry."

It was quiet for a long and Louis' hand was still rubbing Harry's leg. By now the screen of the iPhone had gone dark. "Can I make you a cuppa?"

Harry shook his head and then lifted it, looking in to blue eyes, "I appreciate what you're doing, Lou. I'm sorry - I'm sorry I can't bounce back from this right now." Louis nodded his understanding and Harry took a deep breath then slowly let it out, "'M just gunna head to bed." Louis nodded again and stood up so his friend could get by.

Over the next ten minutes or so, Louis busied himself with a cuppa, inhaling deeply every time he felt the urge to cry. It was stupid of him to even assume he would be enough to make Harry feel better - but he really wanted to be that. If he thought the last two weeks of hearing everything Clementine was torture, then this must be hell on earth - seeing Harry this upset and not being able to make it better. His mind went back to all the times he had thought about how upset it would make him seeing Harry happy with someone else, but that didn't compare to how he was feeling now. He'd much rather the boy be happy, even if it was with some ditzy female so was always way too touchy feely.

He turned the lights off and had every intention of heading to his own room and passing out until he heard Harry's shaking voice say, "love you too. Night mum." He knocked lightly and Harry answered with a sniffle and, "yeah?"

The sobs had returned and even with his back turned to him, Louis could see Harry's body rising from an intake of breath and then shaking as he released with the tears. "Oh Haz," he was across the room in a second, climbing under the comforter and moving himself close to Harry before brushing the curly hair out of the boy's face.

Harry sniffled and cleared his throat but more sobs came. Louis didn't say anything but he was thinking everything: _I love you Harry, you're amazing, you're beautiful, it's gunna be okay, I'm here_. He inched his body closer to Harry and laid his head on the pillow, nuzzling his face in to curly hair. One hand rested under his own cheek and the other held on to Harry's shoulder, not sure how close Harry would want him to be.

Harry had no idea why Louis was being so sweet to him, and that was definitely part of the reason for his tears. He didn't deserve any kindness or sympathy from the boy. Their first national performance of their first ever single that they had worked _so_ hard on and he had to fuck it up. Louis should be furious with him. He shouldn't even be speaking to him, let alone comforting him.

But it felt so right for the older boy to be there with him, to feel his presence - both physically and emotionally. It filled his heart, even through all of his self loathing and he cried thinking of how important Louis was to him and how much Louis must care about him if he didn't walk away. He thought for sure Louis would walk away. And that urge from earlier to lean forward and connect their lips had surprised him once again. As quickly as it came he pushed it away because...no. But pushing that thought away didn't stop him from wanting to still be closer to the boy in his bed.

Louis froze: his body, his thoughts, his breathing, when Harry lifted up his arm and grabbed Louis' hand, pulling it down around him and linking their fingers together. Harry fell asleep not much later, his body now completely relaxed in Louis' arms. It felt right for him to be there. Louis had imagined moments like this where he wondered what it would feel like to lay behind Harry, to hold him, and be this close; and now he had his answer. It felt absolutely fucking perfect.


	5. Stole My Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, it's been a while but finally a new chapter!
> 
> PS- Sorry in advance...
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)

                                                     

 

Harry's sleep was disturbed by something bright behind his eyelids. After opening one eye slightly and then shutting it tight again, he quickly turned on to his other side, pointing his back to the blaring sunlight. He grabbed for the edge of the comforter and pulled it up over his head to make it darker. He wasn't ready to face the disaster he created last night. But just as he felt himself slipping back in to sleep his eyes shot open because of the thought that popped in to his head.

Louis was still there - sleeping peacefully only inches away from him. He smiled and inched forward to close off any space between them and wrapped his arm around the older boy's waist. He nuzzled his face in to his friend's hair, which caused Louis to jump out of his sleep from the unexpected touch. But Harry only tightened his hold on him. " 's only me," he mumbled. With Louis in his arms and their warmth radiating off each other he could easily fall back asleep.

But his friend on the other hand was instantly wide awake. He turned on to his back and smiled at the perfection that was Harry Styles. "Were you trying to molest me in my sleep?" Not that he was complaining.

The younger boy smiled teasingly, "well you do look completely molestable right now." And then he chuckled but Louis _did_ look absolutely perfect in this moment - the tousled hair, lazy smile, and sleepy look in his eyes. He kept his arm draped around the boy's middle, "I'm glad you stayed. Thank you for not leaving."

"I'm glad I stayed too," Louis' voice was soft and quiet, the exact opposite of how it usually was, and it melted Harry a little bit. But Louis was going through a bit of melt down himself. Really this scenario was one that he had fantasized about a number of times: wake up next to Harry, tangled in each other's arms, and even a morning breath kiss. And since the first two were happening right now his stomach was in knots and his heart was beating loud in his chest.

At times it no longer felt like his own heart. It was completely at the mercy of a certain sixteen-year-old boy. So when Harry propped himself up on his elbow, towering over him, Louis swallowed down the lump in his throat along with the desire to lean forward and connect their lips. "How are you feeling?" He asked to distract himself.

"I'll survive," Harry smiled. He smiled because Louis was quite possibly the sweetest person on the planet...to him anyways. Louis had been caring and gentle last night and Harry's heart fluttered because this boy cared about him enough to sleep in his bed.

He wasn't sure who still hated him outside of these four walls but the fact that Louis didn't meant everything. He was the the one that mattered the most and he was still there with him. Who could ask for a better best friend than Louis Tomlinson?

"Yes you will," Louis reached up and pushed a dangle of curls out of Harry's face. "Do I need to give you another pep talk just to be sure?" But really he felt he was the one who needed a pep talk. _Get it together, Tomlinson. It's not like that with Harry. It can't be like that with Harry. He likes girls you idiot_.

Harry threw his head back and chuckled, "I'll be alright. But thanks for last night. You know, for being there. I didn't deserve it but I _am_ happy you stayed." And if Harry wasn't so confused about life right now he might have just leaned down and kissed Louis. But he felt weird and wrong for even thinking it. So he pushed the thought out of his head as quickly as he had other times.

Louis frowned and his eyebrows furrowed at the same time, "you _did_ deserve it, Harry. The only thing you didn't deserve was to be that hard on yourself. Shit happens, Babycakes." And then he smiled.

Just the soft and smooth voice that come out of his lips brought the urge to lean down and kiss the older boy back in to Harry's head and before he could stop himself he was pushing a bit of hair away from Louis' eyes. He traced his fingertips down the side of the boy's face and rested his palm on his cheek. But he couldn't do it. All that he had to do was lean down and he couldn't do it. It was wrong. Even if Louis wasn't doing anything to show him how wrong this was, it was still wrong. He watched the color of Louis' cheek change around his hand and that was what got him to smile again. His gaze moved from one cheek to another, then down to the straight line of his friend's lips and then locked his eyes with the blue ones, "you're perfect, Louis."

Louis froze - breathing...heartbeat - it just stopped and if there was ever a time that he did want to leave Harry it was now. Not that Harry had done anything wrong. In fact, Harry was doing everything right and that was what made it wrong. He was making it too easy for Louis to want Harry as his boyfriend, to want to wake up like this next him him every day, to want to be trapped underneath him like this, and to want to have this physical and emotional connection. And part of Louis thought Harry might actually want the same because how can you be this close to someone and not feel anything? But the only thing he knew for sure was how much deeper he was falling by the minute and he had to make it stop.

He chuckled, "bug off Harry. If that was not the creepiest pass anyone has ever made at me..." Harry chuckled as well and both boys sat up. Louis instantly missed Harry hovering over him, missed looking in to his green eyes, missed the warmth from his body. But, he was still the first to get out of bed. "I need a cuppa."

Harry didn't move until Louis was out of the room. When the door clicked shut he dropped his head in to his hands, rubbing hard at his eyes with his fingertips and then ran his hands through his hair before gripping it tightly. Even with his eyes shut he could still only see Louis. Louis smiling, louis laughing, and _fuck_ \- Louis blushing because of something Harry had said... Again. It wasn't just one of those mental images that someone can't get out of their head. Harry wanted to see it over and over. He wanted to go out there and see it again in person. Just - _fuck_.

But instead he reached for his phone and found his text conversation with Clementine.

***

Louis stood behind the kitchen counter using it as a shield from the objects flying in his direction, ducking down when necessary or dodging from side to side. Harry stood in the middle of their living room pelting little white things at his friend. Even though Louis had been the one to start the fight, Harry seemed to be winning at the moment and it was not because Louis was letting him. He would never willingly lose in a Marshmallow fight.

Louis dropped the now empty bag on the floor and bent down quickly to pick up a few Marshmallows by his feet. When he stood a marshmallow whizzed past his ear, close enough to feel a tiny breeze, and slammed against the wall.

"Fucking hell. Trying to take an eyeball out, Styles?" He whipped one of his own at the younger boy and it hit him on the arm. Just as soon as he yelled out, "score!", Harry had bent down and flung it back to him. Louis dodged to the side and the marshmallow hit the counter this time. He moved forward a few steps reaching for two Marshmallows on the counter and launched both of them at his friend.

It had been a while since Louis had felt that everything was completely okay between the two of them. He missed just being able to do something stupid and fun with his friend and have it be just that - stupid and fun. No drama, no jealousy, no emotions or heartache, no awkwardness. It was really nice to just be lads.

And even though both boys were enjoying the moment, the competition was completely serious and neither 'wanted' to lose. The deal was that the loser had to prank call Paul every day for a month and then fess up at the end. Louis himself had come up with the idea and for a short while he thought about losing because he actually would enjoying bothering the guy, but it may just be a little bit more fun watching Harry make a fool of himself. Plus, Harry was less likely to be killed, which would probably come in handy when it came time to confess. "Come on Styles, can't you hit me once?" Louis mocked him. He threw another Marshmallow just as one was being returned in his direction.

Harry grunted for an added effect as he threw - as if it had the weight of a bowling ball, "I'm just warming up. Don't worry, Tomlinson. Or maybe you _should_ worry."

Louis hadn't realized that he was carelessly giving up the contents of his side of the counter, wanting desperately to hit Harry five times and win the game. He was picking up four or five marshmallows at a time and throwing the handfuls at the younger boy. After three handfuls he went to get more and realized there weren't any on his side. His gaze whipped to Harry who was holding a handful. The grin on the boy's face told Louis that he pretty much had no chance in hell but he still smiled. Harry stepped forward taking just one Marshmallow in his other hand. The older boy chuckled and pointed at him, "stop right there Harry. This isn't fair. I'm at a disadvantage!"

Harry shrugged, "it's not my fault you threw away all your weapons." He didn't stop until only the counter was in his way, "What's the matter, Lou? Scared?" Harry threw one at a time, fast and hard without waiting for a response from his friend. The first hit his knee, the second missed him by an inch, the third hit his stomach, and the last two went over his head as he dropped to the floor.

He quickly crawled towards two of the marshmallows and grabbed them before standing up. "That's all you got, Haz? Only two? You had me pinned!" He sprung up and had his arm back to throw when instantly something hit him in the chest, then another, and another.

Harry counted as the Marshmallows hit Louis, "three, four, five." He screamed with his fists in the air, "yeah! I win! I won! In your face Tommo!" He started doing his version of a victory dance, which included some sort of fist pumping.

Louis felt his face flush with embarrassment that he had just gotten beat at his own game, but he wasn't upset at all. He was actually quiet content with seeing Harry this happy. He sighed dramatically because that was what love did to you and then he smiled, "how ever will I survive having to torture Paul for thirty whole days?"

Harry grinned at how adorable Louis was, "something tells me you'll be just fine. Plus you know I'm not going to let you have all the fun by yourself."

Louis smiled wider, "something tells me you're absolutely right, Haz. But are you going to hold Paul back when he tries to kill me?"

Harry was immediately shaking his head, "you're on your own, pal."

"Yeah, thanks. At least I'm a footie player. I can run," Louis chuckled and started to pick up some of the marshmallows to throw in the garbage. "What are you doing today?" He asked.

"Gunna head to lunch with my mum and Gemma. Then later gunna meet up with Clemmy at a cinema in the city," Harry helped to pick up the marshmallows. "What about you?"

Louis rolled his eyes at the mention of the girl but then he shrugged, "nothing. Might play some FIFA. Need to call my mum. Will probably bother the lads, too."

Harry closed the gap between the two of them and wrapped his arms around Louis' waist, pressing his chest to the older boy's back and rested his chin on his shoulder, "thank you for last night and today."

Louis leaned back with a smile and put his hands on Harry's arms , "you already thanked me for last night, twice, and now you're thanking me for throwing marshmallows at you?"

When Harry pulled back from the hug Louis turned so he could face him, "I just... I really appreciate you being there for me."

Louis cheeks were burning. He could feel it and he knew Harry could see it. "You're my best friend, Harry. I'm always going to be there for you."

Harry felt his breath hitch and a lump caught in his throat with Louis' words and the obvious blush he had caused yet again. Before he could stop himself he was reaching up and brushing his knuckles against the rosy color of Louis' cheeks. He gave a half smile; just a curve in the corner of his mouth. Again he imaged himself leaning forward and kissing him and again it scared him to death.

***

"That was quite possibly the worst movie I've ever seen," Clementine complained, but both her and Harry were laughing. It was one of those cheesy stupid humor movies that was so horrible you ended up laughing anyways.

He held the door open for her, "I didn't think it was _that_ horrible."

She shot a surprised look at him and stuffed her hands in her coat pocket, "you can't be serious Harry!"

Harry climbed in to the seat next to her as the car left the alley, flowing in to traffic with the rest of London. They'd snuck out as easily as they snuck in. When you were part of One Direction that was how things had to be done. He laughed and defended himself, "I mean that there are movies that I have seen worse than that one."

But Clementine was shaking her head, "I just can't imagine." She leaned up against him, wrapped his arm around herself and let out a sigh, "I had a good time tonight. I wish you didn't have to leave in the morning."

He felt his cheeks warm up a bit at the idea of Clementine missing him and her being so close right now. He tightened his grip around her shoulders just a little to let her know he was still there, "I'll be back in a few days."

She nestled in to him more and he could see the smile on her face, "I'm still going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he pressed a light kiss to the top of her head. And then he leaned his head back, peeking out of the window. Louis' face popped in to his head and he felt guilty for thinking about him while out with Clementine.

She giggled and then sighed, "you'll probably meet a bunch of girls in LA and forget all about me."

 _Or I'll spend the entire time in a hotel room with Louis watching funny YouTube videos_ , he thought to himself. He laughed loudly at Clementine's way of showing jealousy, just as he did when Louis showed it. "I could never forget about you, Clem." And that was the truth. All of the feelings he once had for her had slowly been coming back, but after tonight he was pretty sure they were all back... And in full force. He really had no desire to find another girl, whether that was here in England or in America. He really wanted to see where things would go with her.

It was quiet for a while as Harry waited for her to say something. Finally she did and it wasn't what he was expecting. "Harry, do you like me?"

"Of course I do," his eyebrows furrowed from his confusion.

She sat up and turned to face him completely. "No I mean, do you like me enough to go out with me?" She was biting her lip and even with just the street lights illuminating the car he could see how nervous she was.

But still he grinned in humor, "are _you_ asking _me_ to be your boyfriend?" He found it way too adorable that her entire face turned a dark shade of red.

She struggled to get her sentence out. "Oh! No I... Well, gosh it... It did sound like that, didn't it? I was really just... Sort of... Seeing what you thought...we...were. I mean we've been getting close the last couple of weeks and well, I like you and...I'm going to shut up now that I've made a complete fool of myself."

Her cheeks were an even darker shade of red and she couldn't even look at him. He reached up and placed a hand on her cheek but she didn't look up from her gaze on her hands, "you're adorable and I'd love to be your boyfriend. That is, if you'd like to be my girlfriend."

She looked up and barely noticed his smile before he was pulling her in to a gentle kiss. Once they parted Louis was the first thing to cross Harry's mind and he wondered what his friend would think of this. Harry knew that Louis was jealous of Clementine and he really just hoped things wouldn't change between them. He wouldn't be able to handle the two of them not being as close as they were.

***

  
When Harry walked in to the flat at 8:39 the next morning, Louis was asleep on the couch. But when he heard the door open he jumped out of his sleep and sat up on the couch immediately. "Jesus fucking Christ Harry. Where the hell were you? I've been worried sick. You didn't call and I thought something bad happened," the older boy was squinting and his words were mumbled. To Harry it looked like he was talking in his sleep. But Louis was very much aware of what was going on.

The younger boy frowned and took his coat off, "I'm sorry Boobear. I forgot to text. I was with Clem. If anything happened to me though, it'd be on the news so at least you'd know." He was trying to make a joke but Louis didn't look like he appreciated it. He also didn't look like he slept that much.

The pit in Louis' stomach fell deeper than it had all night as each minute passed when he hadn't heard from Harry, fell deeper than it had in a long time. Harry had spent the night with Clementine and while Louis knew that could mean a number of things, right now he was going with the worst case scenario. "Oh," was all he could say. So Harry was out all night with that girl but he didn't have the decency to send a quick text letting Louis know he was ok?

He had a whole speech planned for when Harry got home. First he was going to yell and then he was going to tell him he was glad he was ok and then maybe he would yell some more before he hugged him. But this... This wasn't part of the plan. He kept his eyes on Harry and followed him around the room as he put his coat on the hook and then came back to take a seat next to him on the sofa.

Harry saw the concern on Louis' face and he felt really bad that his friend had been so worried. He rubbed his knee gently as a form of an apology, "we stayed up really late talking and I didn't feel like making the trip home."

"Didn't feel like making the trip home? You have a personal driver! All you have to do is sit there and...and fall asleep if you're tired. _He_ does all the work!" Louis voice was definitely louder than a normal talking voice, but he was able to contain himself from screaming.

"I'm really sorry Boobear. I didn't mean to scare you. I'm ok, yeah?" He leaned back on the sofa and pulled Louis in to a hug.

But Louis pushed out of the hug, "and I'm still really fucking pissed!" He should just let the matter go. Harry was home and he was ok. But now it was more about who he was with then where he was.

Harry frowned, "I'm fine, Lou." He didn't like where this was going. Louis had never been this vile with him before and he wanted it to end.

But the older boy was just getting started. "You're so fucking lucky no one saw you." The more he thought about it the more he hated that Harry had spent the night with Clementine. But he knew he couldn't just tell him that, so he would use this as a way of getting around his disapproval.

"What do you mean?" Harry's eyebrows were now furrowed in addition to the frown.

Louis shrugged, "well just because of all the rumors and things. The last thing you want is for people to start saying you're running around London with some girl."

And now Harry was angry, "she's not just _some girl._ She's a friend of mine. I don't understand why you don't like her."

Louis' froze at the little bit of hostility in Harry's voice. Harry never had an attitude with him and now all of a sudden he had one because of that girl. "I never said I didn't like her..."

He wanted to say more but Harry stood up and started talking again, "you didn't have to say it Louis. It's in everything you do. You barely talked to her the two times you saw her, you roll your eyes every time I mention her, and now you're saying she's bad for me." He started to walk away.

The sinking feeling in the pit of Louis' stomach had returned and was worse than before. Harry was upset with him and now he was walking away. No, that wasn't ok. His heart was beating fast and he needed to get Harry back... Fast. But his stupid pride wouldn't let him, so he added more fuel to the first. "Oh yeah, real mature. Just walk away in the middle,of a conversation."

Harry stopped and swung around fast. The glare he gave Louis was almost enough to intimidate him, "this isn't a conversation. It's you fucking attacking me because you don't like a girl that you _don't even fucking know_!" He dragged out the last part and raised his voice.

Louis stood up himself, "has it ever crossed your mind that maybe the only reason she's your friend is because you're in a One Direction. Has it ever crossed your mind that the only _fucking_ reason she came to London is because you're now some rich and famous celebrity.

Harry laughed incredulously, "you've got to be kidding me. Because I'm in one direction? I've been friends with her way longer than One Direction."

He looked up at Harry and cut his eyes at him, "yeah and was she even interested in you before that?"

Harry stared at him, a shocked expression on his face. A very small part of him realized that Louis was right because she hasn't been interested in him before. But, Clementine wasn't like that and some time had passed. He knew she had just given it some thought and realized she was wrong in the first place. But he was shocked because he never thought Louis' jealousy would take him as far as accusing Clementine of being a groupie, but he had just put it out there and there wasn't any taking it back. "You don't even know her," he said quietly - his anger was turning in to hurt.

But Louis on the other hand was still full anger. He and Harry never fought like this before and the fact that it was over this girl pissed him off. He was more angry at her for coming in to their lives and fucking everything up but Harry was on the receiving end of it.

"Don't fucking play the victim now, Harry. You're acting like I'm the bad guy in all of this. I'm just trying to look out for you before you make a _big fucking stupid mistake_." Louis' arms were flailing as he yelled.

Harry just shook his head and walked in to the kitchen, "whatever Louis. You're being a dick right now."

Louis laughed and added some sarcasm to his voice, "oh, I'm being a dick? Well you're _thinking_ with your dick. She's using you Harry!"

Harry scoffed but managed to keep his voice down. He was tired of yelling. All of his anger had turned in to hurt by now, "you don't even know her. You have no right to judge her. Grow up, Lou." He started to walk towards his room. Their flight for LA left in two hours and he hadn't even packed anything. Right now all he wanted to do was crawl in to bed and cry. Why was Louis being such an ass right now? All he wanted to do was come home and tell Louis he had a girlfriend and then the two of them could celebrate the whole plane ride, but that clearly wasn't going to happen.

"You grow up!" Louis spat at him from down the hall and only a second later the front door slammed shut.

  
***

Harry wasn't putting any thought in to what he was bringing to LA. His mind was elsewhere so the nearest clothes, both clean and dirty, were being shoved in to his suitcase. After he'd been sitting on his bed staring at the wall for who knows how long he received a text from Paul telling him he had fifteen minutes to get down to the lobby, so now it was time to rush. At this point he didn't even want to go anymore and _he_ was the most excited one when they found out about the trip.

He was just in no kind of mood to travel, or be around people, or even pretend that everything was ok because everything was shit right now. With the argument that had just happened he still had the urge to cry. He felt terrible. Louis was his best friend and he had already worried that the news of him and Clementine being together would change things but Louis didn't even know yet and things had been fucked up. But the worst part about all of this is that he and Louis were fighting. Right now he didn't even care about anything else other than the fact that he was about to walk downstairs and not have his best friend to run to. He wouldn't be sitting next to Louis in the car or on the plane. They wouldn't be sharing that hotel room together or prancing Paul together. All of these thoughts made Harry want to run right to Louis and say he was sorry until the older boy caved in. But there was also a part of him that knew Louis owed him an apology too.

He knew how Louis was and when he was this upset there wasn't any talking to him. He just needed time to cool down. This was their first major argument and like with any new situation you go through with someone there's always the question of how to get past it. How does the other person feel and what does the other person need? Who should apologize first or at all and when are they going to feel comfortable enough with one another to talk again? It was just going to be an awkward situation and Harry wasn't looking forward to it.

When he made it down to the lobby only one person was waiting for him: Zayn. Zayn smiled, "well don't look so happy to see me!" He tried to lighten the mood. He was sure the others had heard by now because Zayn was trying way too hard to be in a good mood - especially since it was before midday.

Harry shook his head and continued past him towards the door, "not in the mood Z."

Zayn fell in to step with him and cleared his throat, speaking in that tone of voice which said he was afraid Harry would snap at him, "we're taking two cars because of all our luggage. Li, Ni, and Lou already left."

Harry scoffed. No they weren't. They were taking two cars because of what just happened. "Are we taking two planes too?" He shook his head again and made his way over to the first car where Paul was standing.

It didn't take long to get to the airport. Harry's mind was racing as so many different thoughts about Louis and Clementine and just everything else that he found annoying ran through it. He was in one of those moods where everything bothered him. The other three were already on the plane when Harry and Zayn boarded. Harry's gaze went right to Louis and they made eye contact before Louis looked down at his phone. And even in that split second Harry saw the hurt in his friend's eyes. Louis looked completed worn out and his heart constricted in his chest because the boy's eyes were red and puffy. Now more than ever he wanted to approach the boy but he didn't know how to and he definitely didn't know what he would say.

And then Harry felt worse because everyone else on the plane was quiet and looked upset. This argument was between him and Louis and now their friends were suffering because of it. He sighed and took a seat in the last row wanting to be by himself. If he couldn't be with Louis then he didn't want to be with anyone. Well, except for Clementine. He really wished she was there right now. She may not be able to make the situation any better but she would at least offer some comfort. So he did the next best thing, which was plug in his earphones and text her until he fell asleep.

 


	6. More Than This

Louis and Harry still weren't talking. They hadn't talked the entire plane ride, they didn't sit next to each other in the van from the airport to the hotel, and what made it worse was when Harry had asked for his own room. It was _always_ Louis that he sat next to and it was _always_ Louis he shared a room with. But what really put the icing on the cake was when Harry didn't take the seat next to him during the capital FM interview.

And then the younger boy had the nerve to go about the broadcast like everything was perfect; like there wasn't a thing in the world to be upset about. Part of that annoyed Louis because it seemed too easy for Harry to brush off his feelings, but another part of him felt relieved because maybe Harry had finally calmed down and maybe after the interview they would talk and be okay again. So he, too, did his best to put on a fake smile and pretend that everything was okay. It would't be his first time.

If he heard the interviewer mention Harry and girls or just girls one more time he was going to leap across the table and strangle him. But he was shocked in to his spot when the dating someone else in the band question arose and Harry's answer was immediately Louis. So when the question was turned on him he rambled for a bit as his brain searched for a coherent thought and his heartbeat returned to normal. And for the rest of the interview all Louis could do was smile at the most adorable laugh that Harry gave in response to his joke.

But after the interview, nothing had changed. Harry didn't approach him, or talk to him, and quickly excused himself back to his room while the rest of them made plans for lunch. But Louis didn't feel very hungry so he spent the rest of the day and night in the room he was sharing with Niall, tucked under his comforter with his earphones, iPhone, and sad songs playlist.

  
***

  
"You about ready?" Niall closed the lid to his laptop and looked over at Louis who was lying flat on his back with his fingers linked together and resting on his stomach-- burning a hole in to the ceiling. He felt bad for his friend, for both of them actually. Harry and Louis were inseparable, they were like Bonnie and Clyde and whether they knew it or not he was sure the two of them belonged together for ever. So, to see them not talking or acknowledging one another was upsetting and he knew it had to be ten times worse for them. It _looked_ ten times worse too. He'd never seen Louis so quiet and boring and miserable.

Louis sighed heavily and turned his head to look at the blonde haired boy, the first time he moved in a while, "do I have to?"

Niall gave him a sympathetic smile and nodded, "afraid so, lad. You're one-fifth of the band." He made his way over to his friend's bed and held out his hands.

The older boy groaned and stretched his hands out, letting Niall pull him in to a sitting position. "What's this even about?" As if the last twenty four hours hadn't been horrible enough for Louis, now he was being tortured with some last minute Modest Management bullshit meeting that no one had any idea what it was about.

When they got to the room everyone else was there. Harry was sitting in between Zayn and Liam, Lisa - a lady they had only met once - and another guy Louis had never met were at one end of the table and Kate and Joshua from their team were at the other end. He took one of the two empty seats, with Niall sitting next to him, and looked across the table at the rest of his band mates. Harry was fixated on his water bottle at the edge of the table. He looked tired and upset. His lips were curved down and his eyes were droopy. Louis hated seeing him like this but remembering why didn't allow for him to be as sympathetic as he could have felt. Zayn was looking at his phone, and Liam's eyes were wandering around the room. Clearly none of them wanted to be there.

"Thanks for coming, guys," Lisa said and Louis looked at her. She had her legs crossed, a clip board was balancing on her knee, and she was smiling at them. "Great job on the interview yesterday. We've had a ton of views. Sent the fans in to a frenzy." Her enthusiasm was already pissing Louis off.

"Well, we had a ton of fun doing it," Liam spoke up. He always spoke up and Louis rolled his eyes; but not at Liam. He just didn't like Lisa already. Sure she was sweet but that was exactly it. She was too sweet and Louis already didn't want to be here. So she just needed to get on with the real reason they were all here.

He cleared his throat, "sorry to be... _rude_ , but would you mind telling us why we're here and not on our flight back to London?"

Liam sighed, "Lou..."

But Louis really wasn't in the mood for any of this and the more he was in the room with Harry the worse his mood was getting. He both wanted to scream at him and hug him at the same time and that was the most annoying feeling in the world. "What?" he asked and leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "There has to be some important topic of discussion for them to keep us here any longer than we want to be."

Liam leaned forward as well, "that doesn't mean you have to be such a twat..."

But Lisa cut him off, "Liam it's okay. Louis is right. There is a very important reason we kept you all here." And then she turned to Louis, "and I am glad you are so keen to listen Louis because the reason is about you." The enthusiasm was draining from her voice and Louis could sense the little bit of sarcasm peeking through. Sarcasm was his game so fuck her for turning it on him.

But at the same time his heart skipped a beat. What had she just said? "Me?" he asked quietly. Any hint of arrogance had left his own voice. He glanced across the table at Harry, the one person that he would always go to or look to for comfort. What he really wanted in that moment was any sign from Harry that things were ok, but Harry was looking down at his hands.

Lisa nodded, "yes. You and Harry." She smiled after saying this and Louis really just wanted to chuck something at her. Not even he and Harry could talk about he and Harry so what the fuck could she possibly have to say. But he _did_ have a strange feeling the subject of Larry Stylinson was going to be brought up.

Harry looked up at the mention of his name and his gaze went right to Lisa. Even now Harry couldn't look at him. There wasn't any denying in that moment that there was a Harry and Louis, that there was a Larry of some sort and Harry was still ignoring that. It was like he had all at once given up on them, on him and that hurt went straight to the pit of the older boy's stomach. How long was Harry going to pretend he didn't exist? "What about us?"

Lisa only said one word, "Larry." Of course, Louis thought to himself. Even though they had not given them one single reason to... oh never mind. He remembered the dating question from yesterday and how they had confessed to wanting to date each other.

Louis chuckled loudly and shook his head down at his hands. In an incredulous tone he said, "not this shit again."

The guy that was sitting next to Lisa spoke up for the first time, "look guys, we know that you're best friends and we know that you care about each other but the way you show that or talk about that in public is not... it's sending the wrong message."

Louis cocked an eyebrow at him and turned his head to the side, "excuse me but who the hell are you?" Again, he'd never seen this guy before in his life and was forced to sit here and listen to him depict his relationship with his best friend? No.

"Guys this is Chuck. Head of our marketing team," Kate added in.

"Ok, _C_ _huck_ ," Louis said, his sarcasm returning. "What's sending the wrong message exactly?"

Chuck sat up in his seat and also leaned on to the table, clasping his hands together, "look. I'm not saying that what you and Harry have isn't great. But your fans seem to think there is a little more than a friendship going on here and whether that's true or not it's bad for marketing. Boy bands do not do so well if the fans think there is a gay member."

"I am fully aware of what the fans think. They're the ones who started all this so don't you think they're more than okay with it? Plus, I don't know if they've told you, but I _am_ gay," Louis bluntly pointed out.

Kate sighed, "yes, Louis, we know you are and we're okay with that. It's just not something that can be released to the public. You knew that when..."

He cut her off, "when I signed the contract. I know that and I've done a pretty fucking good job of keeping it private. But there wasn't anything in the bloody contract that said I couldn't have a close friendship with a member of the same sex who also happens to be in the same band as me. What, do you want us to act like we hate each other?" The last time they'd had a meeting like this where their team had ganged up on Larry Stylinson, Harry was right next to him, a steady hand placed on his leg to calm him and let him know he was still there. This time, he didn't have that and that was making him even more defensive. He couldn't even bring himself to look at the younger boy.

Lisa spoke up this time, her voice calm and soothing, as if she were trying to prevent another outburst. "Of course not, Louis. We appreciate and respect that relationship that you and Harry have... that all of you have. Sometimes in a band you don't always have the close relationships that you all have. We just, would rather you keep it to a minimum in public... just until the fans put this on the back burner."

Louis was still shaking his head but he didn't have anything to say. He would have loved for Harry to say something or have one of their other friends chime in but no one did. Kate spoke next. "But we also realize that could take a very long time, so we've arranged for something to help them in the process. And really we mean _no harm_ by this and I _promise_ you it is for everyone's own good. We want this band to be successful for a long time so, Louis, we've arranged for a young woman to accompany you in public."

Louis' eyes shot open as wide as possible and he sat back in his chair, "excuse me? a what? as what?"

Kate didn't look like she was playing games and in fact her stare had hardened, "as your girlfriend, Louis. Until your fans get off this Larry kick."

He leaned forward again and cut his eyes at her, "so you got me a beard?"

Liam smirked, "but Louis doesn't have a beard."

Niall chuckled and added in, "I think he looks better without one." Zayn laughed as well.  
The only two who weren't laughing were Louis and Harry. He finally got up the nerve to look at Harry and fuck, he really shouldn't have, because Harry actually did look as broken as Louis felt. He could see it in his eyes that even though they weren't talking at the moment, Harry didn't want this either. Well, he could speak up any fucking time he wanted to.

"As we said," Joshua chimed in. "It's only temporary. Once the fans stop obsessing over this illusion you two can break up." God, he hated the nastiness in his voice; like he was completely disgusted by the idea of Larry Stylinson.

"No, fuck you," Louis slammed a hand down on the table and pointed his finger at Joshua. "I can handle not telling the world I'm gay but I refuse to pretend to be something I'm not."

Kate frowned and for a second Louis thought she might actually feel bad for him, might actually change her mind but she said, "I'm sorry Louis, but you don't have a choice. It'd be easier for everyone if you just went along with it."

Louis was going to protest more but Harry spoke up. As the words came out Louis focused on him and he saw how nervous the younger boy was. He cut his eyes at him and with the mood he was in, even Harry would get cursed out right now. "You guys don't have to do that. Get Louis a beard, I mean," Harry said.

"Why's that Harry?" Lisa asked.

And for the first time this entire meeting and for most of the weekend, Harry looked at Louis and he could only hope that Louis saw the sorrow on his face for the pain he was about to cause. He didn't want anyone to find out this way, especially Louis. Even if they weren't speaking right now Louis was still his best friend and still had so much love and respect for him. He wanted to tell him this news in private and he wanted to tell him first before anyone else. But he was desperate for all of these people to just leave Louis alone. "Because I already have a girlfriend so Lou doesn't need to pretend to have one." He hated saying it from the moment he did. He hated seeing the hurt that instantly replaced the confusion on Louis' face. But he'd rather Louis be upset or mad at him than have to go through some bullshit that their management thought was a good idea.

"Whoah, mate! What do you mean you have a girlfriend?" Liam asked.

"Is it that cute girl you went to the cinema with the other night?" Zayn asked immediately after.

Louis felt Niall's hand on his knee but he couldn't even move to give his friend a reassuring smile because there wasn't one to give. Louis was hurt for a number of different reasons and right now he could care less who saw. Harry had a girlfriend and he didn't even tell him. He thought they were close enough to tell each other anything and everything. And more importantly this definitely meant there wasn't a chance at all for him and Harry. Louis had never felt more heart broken in his entire life. It was as if he had just gone through a breakup and he hadn't even gone through a break up.

Harry shrugged, "I don't really want to make a big deal out of it and I'm not ready to publicize it. Can we just keep this between us?"

"Harry! That's wonderful news, sweetie! Of course we won't say anything," Kate reassured him. "But that still doesn't change anything. Eleanor signed a contract already and since Louis is the gay one..."

She stopped mid sentence when Louis pushed his chair back and walked out of the room. He couldn't hear another word from anyone.

 

***

 

"Lou, wait up!" Niall called after him. By the time he had gotten out of his chair and in to the hallway, Louis was all the way at the other end and just about to turn the corner. He stopped and turned around immediately and it didn't take long for the blonde haired boy to catch up-- and to notice the look of pure anger and hatred on his friend's face. "Look, Lad. That was complete bullshit..." He wasn't even sure where he was going with his sentence or how to even make Louis calm down, but the older boy cut him off from doing so anyways.

  
 "Damn right it was complete bullshit. And thanks a fucking lot for having my back in there, _pals_ ," he spat, voice full of the same hatred and anger that showed on his face. Liam and Zayn had showed up on either side of Niall.

Liam spoke first and his voice was low but hard, "what did you expect us to say, mate? They're our management! We signed contracts..."

He too was cut off with more of Louis' anger. "Fuck their contracts and fuck whoever thinks that it's okay to tell me who I can and cannot be and who I can and cannot be friends with," Louis' voice was growing louder in hopes that the people at the end of the hall could hear him and hear how serious he was.Their management team had never been his favorite group of people, but they had just given themselves the number one spot on his hit list. "I can return the fucking favor of making their lives a living fucking hell," he yelled again.

Niall put his hands on both of Louis' upper arms in an attempt to calm him, "Lou, calm down."

Louis moved away from Niall's grip and pointed a finger at him, "Don't...do not tell me to calm down. You aren't the one continuously forced in to being something you're not." Out of the corner of his eye he saw Harry come out of the room they were all just in. They made eye contact and Louis felt the anger start to disappear and be replaced with hurt. And in a softer voice he said, "You aren't the one continuously forced to stay away from something that means so much to you." But what he really meant to say instead of 'something' was 'someone'. He couldn't be there anymore, that close to Harry so he turned around and made his way up to the room, taking the stairs instead of the elevator so he could get out of there as fast as possible. No longer than it took for him to reach the top of the first set of stairs did the tears start falling. There was no more Larry Stylinson-- and that was Louis' decision. For too long it had caused him heartache and he had finally had enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh man... okay, don't hate me. We have to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)


	7. I Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has got to be my least favorite. And really, I feel horrible for saying that because no one should ever not like their work. I mean, I should be proud of it right? Okay, this isn't going to turn in to weird long thing so, I'm just going to say that the is the most filler of all filler chapters. Like, wow. But I promise next chapter will have a crap load of action. I just wanted a little bit more time with the Larry "fight" before things take off. So, thanks for bearing with me. And thanks for reading this utterly long and ridiculous rant. Enjoy!
> 
> PS- Sorry for any typos. Way too tired to proof read!
> 
> Follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212 and tumblr Hazzalou1212! I don't bite :)

It's been over three months since the meeting, which means it's been over a quarter of a year since Harry and Clementine have been together. The last twelve weeks have pretty much been a non-stop heart ache for Louis, and the fact that it has been exactly ninety-eight days since he and Harry have talked unless they've had to is no help at all. The older boy was, to put it simply, miserable and he would give anything just to have his friend back. Just his friend. But Harry hasn't shown any signs of wanting to resolve things and the thought of rejection leaves Louis too scared to approach him. With the silence between them growing louder and the distance longer, Louis is surprised they are both still living under the same roof. Not that he would ever move out because he couldn't handle that finality of their friendship _really_ being over, but he was sure Harry would. Then again, unless there was an appearance, interview, or tour rehearsal the two barely saw each other- so it didn't even feel like they were living together. And that of course added to his pain. But even with the heartache, still seeing Harry's things occasionally left around the flat lifted a little bit of a weight from his heart every time.

He busied himself with other friends most of the time and spent the rest in his room or occasionally watching telly on the sofa when Harry wasn't around, which was a lot, because he thought it would be better to give him space. Harry always spent his free time out of the flat and mostly with Clementine- according to the other lads. And even on the rare occasions that Louis does see him it is only when their paths cross to go in and out of their rooms or the flat- no talking, no eye contact, no acknowledgment from the younger boy; even though there were times Louis was practically screaming at him with his eyes.

But now with the Up All Night UK tour starting tonight, they'd be spending a lot more time in each other's presence and that made Louis more nervous and anxious than being on stage. And that was mostly because he wasn't sure how he was going to keep himself together, how he was going to refrain from falling apart on a tour bus where everything could be seen and heard. He missed Harry -- like fucking crazy, more than anything in the world and still to this day he found himself tearing up every time he thought of the boy, which was a lot. He was down to only one good solid cry a day and that was progress. But he has always been able to excuse himself, or he was already alone and could let his feelings out.

***

It was an hour until showtime and everyone who was anyone was there in Watford to support the band on their first show. Their families, friends from home, friends from London, management, team members, and everyone in between. They had just done sound check and were all lounging around in the oversized dressing room. People were talking, the boys were getting their outfits together while Lou Teasdale worked with them one at a time on hair and make-up. Zayn of course was already in the chair because he was particularly fussy about how his hair looked.

Everyone was excited and happy and Louis was actually feeling pretty good. So far tonight he'd managed to laugh more than recently and Harry even smirked at one of his stupid jokes, and Louis felt the familiar yet strange excitement flutter in his stomach. The energy throughout the entire day had been positive and for once he was actually able to put his Harry issue on the back burner. That was... until Clementine walked in to the dressing room and as if she thought she was the center of the fucking universe announced, "it's show day! Who's ready?" Louis immediately rolled his eyes and buried his face in his phone.

Liam, Niall, and Zayn had gotten closer to her over the last couple of months and Louis couldn't fault them for that. Really she hadn't done anything to them and they were just too nice. It wasn't their fault if they couldn't see the bitchy insincerity of her fake smiles and her ability to try too hard to get people to like her.

"Hi baby," he heard Harry's voice and with an instant reaction of throat tightening and tears welling up, Louis walked out of the room and continued on down the hall keeping his eyes on the floor. The tears were now flowing from his eyes. He hated the entire situation. He hated the fact that him and Harry weren't speaking, he hated the fact that Harry was calling someone else 'baby', and he really hated himself for giving a damn about all of it. He didn't stop until the cold of the night was nipping at his skin. It was a frigid December night and he was outside with just short sleeves and sweats and that was the only thing that he didn't care about.

He continued to wipe the tears that were flowing more quickly now and di his best to choke down the sobs that had started. The door opened behind him and he jumped. Turning around quickly he could see Lou Teasdale in his blurry line of vision. She was holding out his jacket to him, "Put this on," she demanded, the motherly instinct coming out in her. "It's way too cold out here."

Louis sniffled, partly from the cold, but mostly from his crying. He gave her a soft appreciative smile and took the coat. As he shook in to he said, "I'm fine." He knew he was a fucked up person but that was his problem and no one else needed to be burdened with it.

She nodded and wrapped herself in to her jacket more and shivered, but took a few steps closer to him. "I know," she said barely above a whisper.

He couldn't bare to look at her, feeling his eyes start to sting again, so he looked down at the ground, "you should go back inside. It's cold." He'd gotten used to being alone during these moments that he really didn't want her or anyone else to see him this weak.

She sighed, "fine. But _only_ because I left Zayn with a blow dryer and that could get dangerous."

Louis cracked a real smile and crossed his arms, "I'll be in soon." And even with his smile he couldn't get his voice to match it.

Lou placed a hand on his arm, "he misses you too, Louis." Louis' hear skipped a beat and he turned around to look at her and ask for more information but she was already going back inside.

***

When Louis finally found his way back to the building, it was so close to show time that he was pretty sure Lou was going to kill him for making her have to rush on doing his hair and make up. He opened up the door to the dressing room and he immediately wanted to turn around and leave again, and he almost did but Lou saw him and beamed, "there you are! I'm almost done with sir Hazza here and then we will get you all handsome. Well, not that you aren't already but you know what I mean."

Harry chuckled at her and Louis flushed red, smiling a little bit himself as he made his way across the room. He sat on the arm rest of the chair and took his phone out of his pocket. "It must be freezing out there," Harry said.

For a second Louis had to contemplate whether Harry was talking to him or not. His voice was low and quiet as if he wasn't sure whether he should talk or not and when Louis looked up from his phone the younger boy was looking at him through the mirror. "What?" Louis asked in a daze.

He hadn't made eye contact with Harry in forever and now that they were staring at each other through the mirror, he couldn't break the gaze. Harry's lips turned up to form another smile, "your ears and nose are bright red."

And Louis felt the rest of his face turn bright red as well in a flush of embarrassment, "yeah. It's cold out."

He was sure that would be the end of the conversation but Harry spoke again, "are you ready for tonight?"

All he could do was nod at first while he found a few words in his frozen brain, "I think so." This was the first time they had spoken to each other voluntarily or without having a camera or microphone in front of them and it made Louis happier than anyone would ever know. It was progress. Hell, he would sit down and have a ten hour conversation with the boy right now but he was sure that wasn't what Harry wanted. "Are you?"

Harry nodded, "yeah. Nervous." And Louis' mind went back to the last time they were on stage together and he knew Harry must be worried about his solo.

He smiled while remembering them cuddling that night in Harry's bed, falling asleep next to each other and waking up next to each other, and boy did he miss that. In a quiet voice he added, "you'll be fine, Harry. You're great." Leave it to Louis to make _himself_ blush.

Their conversation was interrupted by someone in a headset named 'asshole #1' in Louis' book, coming in and announcing fifteen minutes until show time. Harry hopped off the chair just as Louis stood up to get in it. "Thanks Lou," Harry gave her a hug. He pat Louis' shoulder, "see you out there, lad."

Lou waited until Harry was out of the room to start grinning at Louis. "I told you he missed you," she exclaimed, loud enough for Harry to hear if he were standing right outside the door.

Louis wanted desperately to push away the hope and hide the excitement that was all over his face but the smile wouldn't fade and thanks to Lou his blush had returned again. "Just make me handsome." And while he watched Lou through the mirror his only thoughts were of Harry and how maybe, just maybe, there may be something left to save after all.


	8. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING PATIENT WITH ME!
> 
> There is no excuse for the long wait on this chapter. But at least I have a good excuse!! School! Right? Is that a good excuse? 
> 
> Okay, I'll stop blabbing and let you read! I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> OH AND FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, OKAY?? I WANT MORE FOLLOWERS AND I LOVE TALKING TO PEOPLE...and sugar.
> 
> @hazzalou1212
> 
> ...TWEET ME!!

                                             

 

Since the start of the tour, things had been better than Louis anticipated. Everyone was getting in to the rhythm of tour life and the tension between he and Harry was not as bad. Harry had been acknowledging him more and Louis was all too happy to reciprocate that. But, he hated how awkward it still felt, as if the two of them were unsure of what to say to each other or if they should even be talking at all. Just the other day on the tour bus, when Louis thought everyone was asleep he made his way from the bunk area to the common area, not expecting to find Harry awake and making a sandwich. Feeling like he was intruding, like he wasn't allowed to be in Harry's presence made him want to turn around and retreat back to his bunk.

But the low soothing voice of the boy who still kept his heart stopped him. Even though they had been talking a little more than what was normal for the past couple months it still surprised Louis every time Harry talked to him first. After all, Harry was the one to start whatever this "silence" was between them. But, Louis knew he was the villain, that what he said to Harry had pissed him off, even if it was the truth. God, he hated that prissy bitch, Clementine. So, now Louis was left without the boy and worse, without his friend. The most normal thing about this new life was gone and he felt more lost than ever. "Can't sleep?" Harry asked.

In response to the question he shook his head slowly, "not really." Louis felt pathetic feeling this intimidated by Harry, this scared to say the wrong thing to piss Harry off even more. Harry nodded and went back to making his sandwich, twisting his mouth up as he did. The awkward silence was thick between the two of them and Louis wanted to say something to make it better. "I just came to get my laptop and then I'll leave you alone."

At first he had every intention of getting his laptop and finding a spot on the sofa but now he felt like an intruder on a bus that was 1/5 his and that feeling made him feel horrible. Just coming face to face with the fact that things had gotten so bad between he and Harry-- that they felt weird around each other now was the most awful feeling. There was a time when he thought they were all each other had, but for Harry to abandon him so easily... He refused to finish the thought.

Harry looked up from his sandwich quickly, the knife still penetrated in the middle of it and followed Louis with his eyes as the older boy flitted across the room to the other side. As if he knew exactly what Louis was thinking, his heart tightened in his chest. This whole thing was just getting ridiculous. Couldn't Louis see that Harry was trying? Whether the older boy knew it or not, he was and still is Harry's weakness -- more than Harry wanted to admit.

So Harry tried again, "you don't have to leave me alone, Lou." _That's the last thing I want you to do_. "Want to split my sandwich?" He asked quietly. _Please don't walk away again_. At first Louis' expression was blank but the small smile that finally formed was all Harry needed to know they were going to be okay...eventually.

***

  
"No, you can't wear that! Take it off now, Harold. For once I'd like to wear a white t-shirt!" Liam was whining like a toddler in Harry's room and Louis was giggling to himself on the sofa. They were back in London for a few days, in their own flats and it was great to be home. Plus, it was party night. Louis was the first one ready.

"We can both wear a white t-shirt, Li," Harry was trying to reason. But even without being in the room Louis could hear the humor in his friend's voice. Yes, friend. Things have been steadily getting better between them. Of course it wasn't anywhere near perfect, but Louis would take what he could get from Harry; the small talk, the subtle jokes, and the trances that Harry probably didn't even realize he was stuck in; the ones that made Louis blush to the ground.

Liam let out a collective sigh and groan, "no. I don't want to be some laughing joke tonight. People will talk and... will you stop laughing at me Harry?" But Liam himself had started to chuckle as well.

"Fine, I'll put a black one on. Will that make you happy?" Harry asked.

"It will actually," Liam chuckled. But he definitely sounded more relieved. "Louis I hope you're not wearing a white..." he stopped talking when he spotted Louis on the couch. "Oh good, you're not. Why are you laughing?"

Louis' was able to turn his smirk in to a serious expression by clearing his throat, for about a second while he quickly blurted out, "I'm not laughing." But his smirk was back as soon as he stopped talking.

Liam smiled in return and crossed his arms, "you are. You're laughing at me!"

And Louis' let out a chuckle because Liam was just the best ever. He loved his friend to death and he was such a toddler sometimes. It was definitely amusing. "I am not," he was still chuckling.

Harry came out of the hallway buttoning up his shirt and asked, "what's so funny?" He looked from Liam to Louis and back again with a grin on his face. Louis had to distract himself from the exposed skin of Harry's chest and from the yearn for his own fingers to be on those buttons, undoing them slowly...

Liam sighed and shook his head, bringing Louis back to reality, but of course the smile was still there. He wasn't really upset. He was just dramatic. "You two deserve each other. Just... Go away," he started to make his way towards the door.

"But you're in our flat..." Louis pointed out.

"Yeah!" Harry exclaimed as if Louis had just told him something he hadn't realized before.

Without turning back Liam stuck his middle finger up. Harry gasped, "that wasn't very nice! Only I'm allowed to finger Lou."

"Well then do it and get him off my dick," Liam turned around and smiled with a wink before closing the door.

"He really is insane," Louis said still looking at the door. He wouldn't dare look at Harry since he knew his cheeks were about as red as an apple. The images in his head of Liam's suggestion... shit. His mouth was dry and he shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and then cleared his throat.

Harry chuckled, "I hope you're not just figuring this out."

Louis, finally able to look at Harry, saw that he was smiling at him, rocking back and forth on his feet, and had his hands clasped behind his back.

"Ready to go?" Harry asked quietly. He couldn't take his eyes off the rosy color of the older boys cheeks and he couldn't ignore the excitement rising in his stomach.

Louis nodded and stood up. They both made their way out the door and down the hall. Louis could feel Harry's gaze burning in to his back as they walked in silence and he also definitely felt the summersaults in his stomach. It wasn't until the elevator dinged to let them know it was on their level that Harry spoke again. "I thought we could go together," he half asked, nervous that Louis would object. But the older boy didn't and it relieved Harry to see the smile on Louis' face.

"Yeah, Haz. I'll be your date for the evening," he said quietly with a smirk. And suddenly it felt like old times again, like nothing had ever happened and they were innocent Harry and mischievous Louis again. His cheeks warmed again at the thought and he looked down at his hands. He didn't even bother to look at Harry's reaction as he made his way first in to the elevator. Yeah, this was going to be a good night.

***

A night off didn't come very often these days but tonight they had one and then tomorrow and the next night they had two shows in London before going back on the road again. The only people who never took a night off were the fans and the paparazzi and they somehow always knew where the boys would be. So when Harry and Louis' car pulled up outside the restaurant where the party was being held, the flashes and yells began immediately and the car was surrounded by people; girls mostly, screaming.

Louis stepped out first when the door opened and was immediately pulled through the crowd of people, who had unsurprisingly gotten past all the barricades. They were grabbing him everywhere, trying to get to him and the camera flashes were blinding. He held his head down, trying to keep the flashes out of his eyes so he could see where he was going. More than the fear of getting crushed by 100 people, the things they were yelling made his stomach clench. _Did you and Louis break up? Are you back together? Louis, did Harry cheat on you with that girl? Is management making you guys stay away from each other?_ What would management think of all these questions? Would this be fuel for another 'scolding?' What did Harry think of al these questions? It seemed only recently that that 'Larry' fandom had gotten bigger and he had yet to find out what Harry thought about that. He felt a familiar hand grip on to his waist, a taller person by his side, and heard a voice yell in to his ear.

"Alright?" Harry was asking him.

The butterflies erupted deep in him from Harry's very public display of affection, from the fact that Harry still did care enough to be concerned. He could only yell back a, "yeah!" But within a few seconds they were inside the building and the doors were shut, muffling out most of the loud noise.

Harry's grip was still on the older boy's waist and Louis was very aware of it. "I'm alright, Haz," he placed his hand on the younger one's stomach, looking up to reassure him with a smile.

"If you say so," Harry returned a sheepish smile and released Louis from his grasp, instantly missing they way their bodies fit together.

"Harry. Louis. You're late," an annoyed voice called from the opposite side of the room. The woman had a disapproving look on her face and Louis assumed it was not because they were late.

As they followed far behind her to the back of the restaurant his annoyance with the woman only grew larger. But that annoyance was quickly transferred to someone else when they reached their destination. Harry was instantly embraced by Clementine who must have been running by the way she crashed in to him, knocking him back a few feet. Louis swallowed as he watched them embrace each other. Even over the music of their first album, he could hear their conversation. "Hi babe!" She giggled in to Harry's neck.

"I missed you," Harry nuzzled his face in to her hair, placing a soft kiss to her temple. And Louis smirked because, really? Where was the kiss on the lips? _She looks like a horrible kisser_ , he thought to himself.

Even with all the insults in his head he still felt out of place and really just missed the way Harry used to look at him, like he was all Harry needed; sort of like how he was looking at Clementine right now and that was heart breaking. He couldn't deal with it.

***

"Harry, I saved you a spot!" Nick Grimshaw yelled across the room as soon as Harry walked in. _Jesus fucking Christ_ , Louis thought to himself. _What a pathetic bastard_. This was a One Direction team member after-party and 'Grimy' was not part of any fucking team. But still, there he was, sat at the head of the table that had the names of Liam, Niall, Louis, Harry, and Zayn. And what a coincidence that Harry's name was next to the pedophile himself.

Niall chuckled when Louis took his name from one of the side seats and moved it to the other head of the table, not trying at all to be subtle about it. He wanted to be as far away from 'Grimy' as possible, and he needed to keep and eye on him and those filthy hands. Because really... if they got even remotely close to Harry, a knife was going to fly.

Louis knew Harry wasn't interested in the decade older man, but Harry was too nice to a person to tell the prick to go fuck himself. That was Louis' job and whether he and Harry were completely back to normal or not he would gladly do it for him. _I need a drink_ , he thought to himself. As everyone else was talking to each other Louis signaled for the closest waiter.

In no time everyone had started to drink; downing pints of beer and shots of clear or gold crisp liquid that burned on the way down. After his third beer and fourth shot Louis' common sense was out the window and Grimmy's hand was off the table. One more shot and he may consider scooting down to the floor to check where that hand was. But he didn't have time to track down the waiter because he got distracted by the prick at the other end.

"Having a good night?" He could hear Grimmy ask as he leaned in closer to Harry. Everyone's voices got louder when they were drunk.

Harry nodded and smiled, too polite, again, to tell the asshole to go fuck himself. "Yeah, good. How about you?" he replied. _Stop being so nice_ , Louis thought to himself, hoping Harry could hear him.

And then Grimmy's hand reappeared only to cover the younger boy's hand that was sprawled out on the table. Louis' heart jumped and he swallowed, but that still wasn't enough to stop his mouth from forming the next sentence immediately. "You know Nick, in this country pedophiles are frowned upon," he picked up his beer and took a sip. Nick glared across the table and Louis toasted his glass to him, a smug smile on his face; clearly proud of his statement.

Everyone else at the table had a look of shock on their faces, except for Zayn who was looking down at his phone and probably hadn't even heard the comment. "Louis," Niall scolded quietly to him from his spot next to him. Niall hated Nick just as much as Louis did but, he too, was too polite to show that in public. 

Louis looked at him and shrugged before taking another sip of his beer. He didn't give a shit if what he said was unacceptable. He didn't give a shit if he embarrassed anyone and he didn't give a shit about Nick Grimshaw. The only person he gave a shit about was Harry and Harry wasn't even fucking old enough to drive. So fuck Nick and his trying to get in Harry's pants.

"I'm sorry, Louis. Have I done something to upset you?" Nick asked and Louis could hear the smugness behind his innocent demeanor.

_Who the fuck do you think you're fooling, 'Grimy'_? Louis thought to himself. Boy did he want to respond. But when his eyes met Harry's he saw the pleading in them, the worry, and the anxiety. So, he let it go and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Really, he'd said all that he wanted to say and that was it. Nick now knew he was on to him.

But Nick wasn't in the mood to give this up. "Oh you've got nothing to say now, do you?" The annoyance in his voice was clear.

And that was it. Louis felt the anger rising in him quickly. He stood up, slammed his hands on the table and yelled, "look twat, no one wants you here so why don't you just leave."

"Harry wants me here. Actually you seem to be the only one here with a problem so maybe you should leave," Nick fought back quickly.

Louis looked to Harry who was now sitting back in his chair, slouched over with his hands clasped in his lap and he instantly felt bad. Plus, Harry was mostly likely pissed off at him again for this one. He shouldn't have even said anything.

So, he quietly and calmly sat back down in his chair and took a deep breath before speaking. "Look, don't drag Harry in to this. He didn't do anything," a little more sincerity in his voice; only for Harry, though.

Nick leaned forward in his seat, "oh, but _you_ were the one to drag Harry in to this. He's the reason the you even opened your mouth in the first place, isn't it? I've wondered why it is that you have a problem with me. Why is it that you hate me so much? But, I think I've now just figured it out. You see me as a threat. You're jealous because you think I want to get in to Harry's pants."

"Nick!" Harry cut him off.

But the older man wasn't paying attention. He was on a mission for blood and Louis was his victim, "but see the difference between you and me is, I know I'd be barking up the wrong tree. You, on the other hand, Louis, have not quite figured that out yet."

Louis' throat was tightening on him and his heart was pounding. Nick's words were instantly replaying over and over in his head at warped speed. And what made it worse was that everyone else heard them too. The truth that he had done so well to keep to himself for months was laid out in front of him, and everyone else, in three seconds flat and he was too shocked to even deny it.

"Nick, stop it," Harry demanded again.

But again, it didn't work and his voice filled the silence of their table once more, "you see, Harry isn't gay Louis, so you can stop being jealous of our relationship. It's best that you realize you're never going to have Harry the way you want him. You can't even keep him as a friend."

"Nick you need to leave!" Harry's voice was louder than it should have been. The entire room went silent, not just their table, and Louis was so happy that not too many people were still there. He could already feel the tears in his eyes as everyone stared in their general direction trying to figure out what was going on. He needed to excuse himself because breaking down here was not a choice. He stood up and Zayn went to stand as well, only to be stopped by the older boy.

All Louis said was, "no," in a broken voice. As soon as he closed the bathroom stall door he let the tears go. His chest rose and fell quick and hard as the tears soaked his face. The worst part was, he knew Nick was right and that hurt just as much as the embarrassment that came with it.

***

Louis had no idea how long he was in there but his crying had subsided by the time he heard the bathroom door open; thank God because he couldn't take any more embarrassment tonight. For a split second his body froze, hoping it was not Nick Grimshaw on the other side. The person's shoes came in to view under the stall door and his heart skipped a beat when he recognized them.

"Lou?" The voice was soft and sad and it instantly made him want to cry again. There was a light knock on the stall door followed again by the same sad voice, "Lou, can you open up? Please?" He couldn't stop the tears from falling but he was using every last drop of his energy to make sure it didn't turn in to full hysteria again. He didn't want him to see him like this.

"Why are you here?" Louis choked out. He meant for this voice to sound stronger than that, to give off the impression that he was fine. But really, who was he fooling?

There was a long sigh on the other side of the door, which the older boy took as sign of annoyance. _Good job_ , he thought to himself. _You're two for two tonight in pissing people off_. "Please just open up the door. I don't want to have to crawl underneath but I will."

Knowing the other boy meant it, Louis leaned forward and slid the lock to the left before burying his face in his hands. He couldn't look him in the face and he certainly didn't want to be seen in this state.

Harry hadn't felt his stomach sink as much as it did in this exact moment. Seeing Louis like this: upset, weak, and vulnerable; all of the things the older boy was not... it hit him hard. And regardless of the things Louis said or to whom he said them, he did not deserve the embarrassment that Nick put him through. Harry was watching this person he cared about so much, even if he was shit at showing it lately, fall apart and had no idea how to make it right. How did things get so fucked up between them? At this point he couldn't think about that. He could only think about how to fix it.

Without hesitating he knelt down in front of Louis who was still sat on the toilet, his face still buried in his hands and pulled him in to his arms. He buried his face in to the older boy's hair and rubbed his back. He inhaled the familiar scent that was Louis and admitted only to himself that this was where he wanted to be forever... minus the bathroom stall. "Lou, I'm so sorry. He shouldn't have said any of that stuff. I made him leave. Please stop crying."

In between sobs Louis spoke, "he's s-such an a-asshole Harry. W-why do you put up with him?"

And to this Harry sighed. Louis wasn't very good at understanding things he didn't believe so he wasn't even going to bother explaining that Nick was actually a good friend to him. Plus, right now Nick didn't deserve defending. "I'm sorry, Lou," was all he could say. He was sorry for everything that happened the last couple of months. "He was wrong." _I was wrong_.

Usually things like this make others feel better but Louis actually started crying harder, his body shaking inside Harry's embrace, which only made the younger boy pull him closer. "He w-wasn't wrong Harry," Louis answered.

Harry was already shaking his head, "No Lou. He _was_ wrong. He shouldn't have said..."

But Louis cut him off because if he didn't say what was on his mind at this exact moment he never would and it needed to be said. Harry needed to know. Louis needed to him to know. He knew it wouldn't make the younger boy fall in to his arms, but he couldn't keep it to himself any longer. He had for so long and it only landed him in this disgusting bathroom stall, sitting on a toilet, and in a fit of hysterics. "No, I mean what he said was not wrong. He was right Harry... about all of it."

He felt the younger boy's grip on him loosen and although he hadn't completely let go of him, Louis knew he heard what he said and there wasn't any taking it back now. "What?" Harry asked.

Louis drew in a deep breath and exhaled quickly. He sat back a little, disconnecting their bodies and although he still couldn't look up at the beautiful face in front of him, he could see Harry leaning back on his legs, his hands placed on his thighs and knew he was waiting for an elaboration. He bit his bottom lip in an attempt not to let any more tears fall. God he felt like shit. Harry deserved an explanation but Louis was too afraid to speak. What would he say anyways? So he just shrugged.

"No, you don't get to just shrug at me after saying something like that," the annoyance in Harry's voice pierced through Louis' ears. He felt tears starting to well up in his eyes again. Harry had no idea how much Louis was in love with him and he had no idea how much it physically hurt Louis to be on Harry's bad side.

"Please don't be mad at me," he whispered. And as he continued to talk his voice grew a little stronger. "I can take a lot of shit, Harry. But I miss you, okay? I miss us." And for the first time since Harry walked in to the bathroom Louis looked up at him. "You were... You _are_ everything to me Haz. Your friendship... I just need us to be okay."

Most of Harry wanted to reach forward and grab Louis' face in his hands and kiss him until their lips were chapped. But the little common sense that he had left wouldn't allow it. Plus, he felt like shit if he were being honest at the moment. Louis was laying it all on the line and Harry couldn't even be man enough to do the same. "You tell me you're in love with me and then you want us to be ok?" He asked and then, of course, instantly regretted it.

Louis stiffened as he thought of what to say. He had expected Harry to react badly to this. He understood why. That doesn't mean it didn't sting. "Harry I know this must be awkward for you. It's awkward for me, too. But I swear I'm going to figure this shit out. I don't want to lose you, Harry. I mean, as a friend. I'll figure out a way to deal with this."

_Tell him you idiot_ , Harry thought to himself. _Tell him you feel the same fucking way. This can be your secret. Don't let him feel like a fool._ "So all that stuff you said about Clem? You were just saying it because you were jealous? You weren't even concerned about me?"

At this point Harry had no idea how to feel. Just a minute ago he wanted to kiss Louis and now he felt absolutely betrayed and wanted to walk away. But at the same time he hated how broken and confused the older boy was. "No!" Louis replied quickly. "Well, yes I was... I _am_ jealous but I will figure..."

"Just... Stop... Talking," Harry was annoyed again. "For once in your life just stop talking." He needed time to think but his brain was frozen. No thoughts came to his mind. And then everything flooded him at once. Louis loved him. He loved Louis back. Management would never allow this to happen. Does that mean he is gay? But what about Clementine? He's dated lots of girls before. Louis hadn't really cared about his well being. Louis was just a jealous child. What the fuck happens now?

"I'm sorry!" Louis blurted out. He was so sure that Harry was going to tell him to shut up again but instead he just stared at him. "I didn't ask for any of this to happen. Do you think it's easy for me? You can't even stand me anymore and I have to watch you be happy with someone else and..."

Harry cut him off again, "why are you telling me this? And why are you telling me this now? Have you forgotten I have a girlfriend?" His voice was calm, which was the exact opposite of how he felt. As if he didn't feel bad enough, Louis was guilting Harry in to feeling like this whole fucking situation was his fault. "Answer me!" He demanded when Louis didn't respond. The older boy always had so much to say. Well now was when Harry needed him to talk.

Louis looked down at the floor and shrugged, "I don't know. I just didn't think..."

But Harry cut him off and stood up. He was not going to be the blame for this, "no you didn't. You never think, Louis. You always say whatever the fuck is on your mind with very little concern for who is on the other end of your remarks. You've had months to tell me this and now that I have a girlfriend you decide that it's a good time to come clean? As if I'm just going to drop Clementine and run in to your arms? And then you guilt me in to feeling like this is all my fault. Like I'm the cause for you falling apart..." He had to cut himself off. He felt tears forming in his own eyes, the same kind of tears that were already dropping down Louis' cheeks.

Louis was the next one to speak after what seemed like an eternity of silence and just staring at each other. His voice was weak and lost. It was all Harry needed to hear for his own tears to fall. "You don't need to feel guilty, Harry. It's not your fault and it's not your problem. I'll figure this out. I'm already a lot better than I was a couple of months ago. Well, except for tonight," he let out a small chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood. "I _am_ happy for you, though. It doesn't see, like it, I know. But regardless of whatever you think of me, I'm not a complete twat. I'm glad you're happy."

But Harry wasn't happy. He was anything but happy. For now he knew he had to go on pretending just as Louis had been doing for so long. He envied the older boy because in a way he was now free. A weight had been lifted from his shoulders. It was now only Harry that was carrying the burden of his secret. Unfortunately, he had no intention of ever letting his get out.


	9. I Want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoy it! Let me know what you think. Check out my other story Cruel Intentions. And follow me on twitter @Hazzalou1212
> 
> Sorry if I didn't catch any typos. Too tired to re-read again!

                                                              

If Louis had to hear this girl giggle or _talk_ one more time, he was going to throw himself out of the van and roll in to oncoming traffic. As if the almost ten hour flight wasn't bad enough, when normal people sleep... Unless your names are Harry and Clementine. He had to deal with all their cute shit the entire time - the talking and laughing and giggling- and while headphones would usually drown out what he didn't want to hear, they were sitting in the perfect spot diagonally so that Louis could see it all.

It's been over a month since Louis told Harry how he actually felt and every day since he feels more and more stupid because he still wished Harry would feel the same. For a few days after that night in the restaurant Louis had been hopeful because things were so _normal_ between them. They were spending every moment together - pranking people and laughing constantly. But then that gradually began to change as Harry started making plans with other people and just being distant in general.

Now it's gotten to a state where the two are barely talking. But Louis couldn't help to notice and loathe how much Harry and Clementine have become closer. The holding of hands, the kissing, the cuddling and hugging... And the worst was how Harry looked at her. His gaze said everything his mouth did not. He loved her and that made Louis sick.

"I'm really glad I came, babe," Clementine's voice broke Louis out of his trance. He couldn't see them, thank God, because he was sitting in the row in front of them- but he just imagine them cuddling and smiling at one another. He rolled his eyes.

"I'm glad you came too, Pumpkin," Harry responded and Louis could hear the sound of a kiss behind him.

The car came to a stop in front of their hotel and Louis sprung up from his slouching position. "Fucking finally," he was the first one out of the car before anyone else had moved or opened a door.

"Long trip?" Niall asked next to him.

Louis nodded, "too long. I need quiet and sleep." His smile fell when he glanced at Harry before he could stop himself and the younger boy was shaking his head. Louis sighed and followed Paul in to the building.

Harry watched Louis walk away and his face fell also. He never meant to upset the older boy but it seemed to happen a lot lately. He knew why, too, and while he did feel bad, he knew it was better this way. Louis had to know that there never would actually be a 'Larry Stylinson'.

Louis told him how he really felt and for a few days it was comforting to know that, even if Harry couldn't reciprocate it verbally. But as the days went on and they went back to being inseparable, Harry knew it would end badly. He knew Louis better than anyone and he could see in the boy's actions and in his eyes that he was becoming attached - falling deeper. Harry had to end things before Louis' heart was shattered. He couldn't be the reason for that, but sometimes he felt like he already was.

He missed his friend more than anything but it was becoming impossible for them to be just friends. Harry too was growing more fond of Louis and really it was just easier if they just stopped before anything escalated. That didn't mean Harry was ok with it. A soft touch to his arm pulled him out of his trance.

"You ok, babe?" Clementine was looking at him with a worried expression.

He did his best to plaster on a smile, "yeah. Good."

  
* * *

  
There was a light knock on Louis' door. Had no one heard him that he wanted quiet and sleep? He sighed and push himself off the bed that he had just threw himself on to and made his way quickly to the door, glaring as if the person on the other side could see him. And in the heat of his annoyance he didn't even check the peep hole to see who was on the other side before he was swinging it open, "there better be a fire somewhere because I..." He stopped when he saw a nervous yet beautiful Harry standing in front of him. The side of his bottom lip was between his teeth and his eyes were wide with shock. Louis, too, froze in his spot.

"Erm... if it's a bad time I can leave," Harry looked down at his feet and then back up at Louis who had visibly calmed down.

He opened the door a little more and leaned against it. "No, I'm just... what's up?" He wanted to tell Harry how he really felt - that he was in a bad mood, but he wouldn't allow himself to guilt Harry in to comforting him.

"Oh, erm," Harry ran a hand through his hair and let it rest on the back of his neck. "I was wondering if we can talk?" His body relaxed when he saw Louis relax.

The older boy nodded quietly, "yeah." Harry walked in before Louis could invite him in.

He took a seat on the chair in the corner of the room and Louis sat down on the edge of his bed facing Harry, leaving only a few feet between them.

Louis wasn't sure how the conversation was going to start or even what it was going to be about, but he wasn't prepared for what Harry asked next. "What happened to us?"

To that Louis looked up. Instantly he wished he hadn't because his heart ached at the sadness on Harry's face. The boy looked tired and worn out. Harry reminded him of himself and he knew that feeling all too well. He didn't want that feeling for Harry. Hell, _he_ didn't even want it. "I don't know," he replied softly after looking down at the ground.

"We've been best friends for too long, Lou. You were my everything. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss that. I don't even know how it got this bad but I never meant for it to happen. Can we get back to the way things were?" Harry spoke really fast and Louis felt the tears pricking his eyes.  
He wiped a few away and let his mind take in everything Harry had just said. And for an instant he wanted to just scream 'yes' at the top of his lungs but he couldn't. There was still that small part of him that felt betrayed by Harry, left in the dark and all alone. Like Harry just said. They were best friends and what Harry did isn't something you do to a best friend... twice. The really hard part, though, was telling Harry this.

He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes, "Harry, I..." He looked up at the younger boy and saw the hurt on his face and sighed. "We can be civil, Harry. I'm just not sure we can go back to the way we were." If possible Harry's face fell even more and he looked down at the ground before nodding.

Louis leaned forward, "you know how I feel about you, Haz. Please, this isn't easy for me at all. I'm just having a hard time trusting you right now."

Harry nodded again and without looking up he responded with, "I've done a lot of stupid things. I know that. I'm sorry."

"They weren't stupid Harry. You did what you thought you had to do," Louis shrugged and sat up more, placing his hands on his knees.

The next time Harry looked up was with tears in his eyes, "I miss you, Lou. I miss _us_."

_Fuck, Harry_ , Louis thought to himself. He cleared his throat again to remove any shakiness from it. "I'm sorry Harry." When Harry didn't say anything Louis continued, "I miss you too, but every time I get you back you leave again. For now I think it has to be this way. I just need a little time..."

Harry was listening to what Louis was saying but at the same time he was so distracted by the older boy's lips. They looked so perfect and soft and for some reason Harry needed to know what they felt like and what they tasted like. Before he could stop himself, he cut Louis off and grabbed both cheeks in his hands, crashing their lips together.

Louis gasped and the little bit of lip parting was taken by Harry as an invitation to explore the older boy's tongue with his own. When Harry bit down on Louis' bottom lip he let out a moan and placed his hands on the older boy's chest.

The entire ordeal was over about a fast as it started and when they parted each had wide eyes and barely any breath. Neither one of them moved or said anything while they sucked in air; both not believing what Harry had just done.

Harry broke the silence, "I'm sorry. I dont... I'm so sorry Louis." He apologized and walked out of the room in just a few strides because the last thing he wanted to do was give Louis the wrong idea, a false hope that there would ever be that 'Larry Stylinson'. But Harry really just needed to feel his lips, to see what kind of emotions it brought up in him, whether there was any kind of connection - for his own selfish gain. He definitely got his answer and he didn't like it.


End file.
